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Simon Cowell is Having a Baby! With, um, His Friend’s Wife!

Celebrities

Simon Cowell is Having a Baby! With, um, His Friend’s Wife!

simon-cowell-baby-mamaOh, Simon.

The 53-year-old media mogul, who is not exactly known for his nurturing and paternal ways, is indeed having a baby with his “close” friend Andrew Silverman’s estranged wife Lauren (pictured on the right, vacationing with Simon AND Andrew on a yacht last year).  And now Lauren, who is about 10 weeks pregnant, plans to permanently end things with Andrew to be with her baby daddy.  Yup — a storyline straight out of one of the scripts I used to write for The Bold and the Beautiful!  Only we would have further complicated the situation with a paternity triangle and a horrific car crash.  But, for real life, this story is still pretty darn juicy.

Simon has gone on record many times about having NO desire for kids, saying things like:  “God, no. I couldn’t have children.  With kids, you’ve got a routine you can’t escape from.”  Which is true!  But alas…

A peek into the future life of Simon Jr.:

SIMON JR:  “The wheels on the bus go ’round and ’round…”

SIMON:  “Years ago I sat on two cats and that’s what it sounded like. It was painful.”

I’m just looking forward to seeing spit-up stains on those tight black shirts of his.  Welcome to parenthood, Simon!

 

Because sharing is caring, as I tell my kids. (Except my wine. Never my wine.)
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Candy Kirby is the founder of The Laughing Stork and a professional fun-maker who will never stop chasing her lifelong dream: to find the Pomeranian or porn star after whom her parents must have named her. A humor columnist for Disney, Nickelodeon, Scary Mommy, Reductress and Redbook, she also used to be a staff writer for the soap opera, The Bold and the Beautiful, where she penned many scripts featuring prolonged heated stares and countless “Who’s the Daddy?” story lines. Candy lives in Los Angeles with her husband, two young kids and three rescue Persian cats, the latter of whom are the real brains behind this operation (so send all complaints to them).

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