USB Pregnancy Test Reveals If You’re Pregnant, If You’re Fertile and If Your Computer is Urine-Proof

If you were just thinking, You know, I would LOVE to shove a pee-covered stick in my computer for a full breakdown of my hormone levels, then ThinkGeek has read your mind!

If ThinkGeek were really reading women’s minds, however, they would also offer a follow-up test for pregnant women that reveals helpful factoids such as:

  • How many liters of water our ankles will retain during pregnancy
  • The likelihood of strangers touching our belly
  • When, exactly, we will sneeze-pee (so we can avoid being in public at those times)
  • How many shoe sizes our feet will grow
  • If the baby finds it annoying that we keep blaring Mozart and French lessons in his cozy womb

Because sharing is caring, as I tell my kids. (Except my wine. Never my wine.)
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Candy Kirby

Candy Kirby is the founder of The Laughing Stork and a professional fun-maker who will never stop chasing her lifelong dream: to find the Pomeranian or porn star after whom her parents must have named her. A humor columnist for Disney, Nickelodeon, Scary Mommy, Reductress and Redbook, she also used to be a staff writer for the soap opera, The Bold and the Beautiful, where she penned many scripts featuring prolonged heated stares and countless “Who’s the Daddy?” story lines. Candy lives in Los Angeles with her husband, two young kids and three rescue Persian cats, the latter of whom are the real brains behind this operation (so send all complaints to them).

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