Now that my daughter is three, she has opinions on pretty much everything — from what she wears to the songs I’m allowed to sing (not many). So I thought I would collect her opinions on something that really matters: what the stars wore to the Oscars. Our conversations went something like this:
Naomi Watts in Armani Prive
ME: Oh, wow. She looks stunning.
THREE-YEAR-OLD: Not good.
ME: What? Why?
THREE-YEAR-OLD: She looks like a robot! (Falls into fit of giggles.)
Quvenzhane Wallis in Armani Prive
ME: Doesn’t she look cute?
THREE-YEAR-OLD: (A MOMENT OF INTENSE SCRUTINY, THEN:) Can I have her purse?
ME: You already have SO MANY purses!
THREE-YEAR-OLD: But they’re getting old.
Jennifer Lawrence in Dior
THREE-YEAR-OLD: A princess dress! You and me are princesses, Mom. You need more princess dresses.
ME: Where would I wear them?
THREE-YEAR-OLD: Um…the park.
Salma Hayek in Alexander McQueen
ME: I’m not a fan of that neckline. And a tiara on a 40-something woman? No.
THREE-YEAR-OLD: Is that her dad?
Helena Bonham Carter in Vivienne Westwood
ME: Honestly, that’s not all that bad. At least she’s always entertaining.
THREE-YEAR-OLD: She’s silly!
Bradley Cooper in Tom Ford
ME: That hair and that beard — UGH! He’s ruining it for me.
THREE-YEAR-OLD: Ru-ing what, Mom?
ME: Never mind.