You Might Be a Grandmother If…
“I know your mom said not to give you a pacifier, but don’t worry — I have a secret stash!”
- You suddenly consider bedtimes arbitrary and discretional.
- You cannot walk through a store without checking out the children’s department for deals on stuff you would never have bought your own kids.
- You are struck with memories of your own child’s early life you thought you’d long forgotten.
- You find yourself defending your own parenting practices by saying things like, “Well, we did that back when YOU were a kid and you turned out just fine!”
- You have a new mantra: “What happens at Grandma’s, STAYS at Grandma’s.”
- You laugh to yourself when the grandchildren misbehave because you’re pleased your kids are finally getting a taste of their own medicine.
- Your antacid drawer also contains Dora Band-Aids.
- You sit in awe and amazement (and, frankly, bewilderment) as your three-year-old grandchild shows you how to use an iPad.
- You always have a treat on-hand for bribing and spoiling purposes.
- You read a child’s birthday party invitation and exclaim with dismay, “We have to wait until FIVE O’CLOCK to eat?”
- You suddenly develop a fondness for corny mementos such as “#1 GRANDMA” pillows.
- After spending an exhausting day with the grandkids you have thought, “THIS is why parenting is for young people,” before passing out on the couch.
- The baby pees his pants from sneezing or holding his bladder for too long — and so do you.
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