Dora Got Run Over by Mr. Candy

Jan 22, 2013 | Filed Under: Candy's Column, Household Obituaries, Original Songs

R.I.P. Dora Watch*

Sung, of course, to the tune of “Grandma Got Run over by a Reindeer”:

Dora got run over by Mr. Candy.
Dropped under his car by Miss Skye.
We can say the watch just “got lost,”
But as for Miss Skye, she don’t believe.

Skye’d been drinkin’ too much OJ,
We’d begged her to leave the watch on.
But anything we say, she doesn’t listen,
So Dora stumbled out the car door onto the ground.

When Candy found Dora the next mornin’,
At the scene of the hit-and-run,
There were big cracks on the face,
And incriminatin’ tire marks — Dora was done.

Dora got run over by Mr. Candy.
Dropped under his car by Miss Skye.
(Way under his car)
We can say the watch just “got lost,”
(Say it just got lost)
But as for Miss Skye, she don’t believe.
(Lord, she really don’t believe)

*Picture does not do it justice.

Also: We should have a moment of silence for Boots, as well.

3 Comments

About Candy

Candy Kirby is the founder of The Laughing Stork and a professional fun-maker who will never stop chasing her lifelong dream: to find the Pomeranian or porn star after whom her parents must have named her. She also used to be a staff writer for the soap opera, The Bold and the Beautiful, where she penned many scripts featuring prolonged heated stares and countless “Who’s the Daddy?” story lines. Candy lives in Los Angeles with her husband, two young kids and three rescue Persian cats who enjoy blanketing every inch of the house in kitty fur. For more of Candy's nonsense, check out her personal Twitter, The Laughing Stork's Twitter and The Laughing Stork's Facebook page.

3 Responses to “Dora Got Run Over by Mr. Candy”

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Deeva says:

That song really gets me in the holiday spirit!!
December 22nd, 2011 at 11:45 am - Reply
Mr.Candy says:

I can’t wait for the music video
December 22nd, 2011 at 9:34 pm - Reply
- Mrs. Harrison Ford says:
  
  It’ll be fabulous because Candy is behind it. I’m assuming you’ll be producing it, right? Just think of the money that could be made from it! It’ll definitely pay for Miss Skye and Sir Drew’s college. (Fingers crossed!”
  December 22nd, 2011 at 9:53 pm - Reply