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Dora Got Run Over by Mr. Candy

Candy's Column

Dora Got Run Over by Mr. Candy

R.I.P. Dora Watch*

Sung, of course, to the tune of “Grandma Got Run over by a Reindeer”:

Dora got run over by Mr. Candy.
Dropped under his car by Miss Skye.
We can say the watch just “got lost,”
But as for Miss Skye, she don’t believe.

Skye’d been drinkin’ too much OJ,
We’d begged her to leave the watch on.
But anything we say, she doesn’t listen,
So Dora stumbled out the car door onto the ground.

When Candy found Dora the next mornin’,
At the scene of the hit-and-run,
There were big cracks on the face,
And incriminatin’ tire marks — Dora was done.

Dora got run over by Mr. Candy.
Dropped under his car by Miss Skye.
(Way under his car)
We can say the watch just “got lost,”
(Say it just got lost)
But as for Miss Skye, she don’t believe.
(Lord, she really don’t believe)

*Picture does not do it justice.

Also:  We should have a moment of silence for Boots, as well.

Because sharing is caring, as I tell my kids. (Except my wine. Never my wine.)
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Candy Kirby is the founder of The Laughing Stork and a professional fun-maker who will never stop chasing her lifelong dream: to find the Pomeranian or porn star after whom her parents must have named her. A humor columnist for Disney, Nickelodeon, Scary Mommy, Reductress and Redbook, she also used to be a staff writer for the soap opera, The Bold and the Beautiful, where she penned many scripts featuring prolonged heated stares and countless “Who’s the Daddy?” story lines. Candy lives in Los Angeles with her husband, two young kids and three rescue Persian cats, the latter of whom are the real brains behind this operation (so send all complaints to them).

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