10 Tips for Creating a Memorable Family Holiday Card

Dec 17, 2012 | Filed Under: Tip of the Day, Top 10 Lists | Tags: Christmas Cards Gone Wrong, Holidays

1. Be an overachiever when it comes to humiliating your pet.

2. Haunt friends and family by morphing yourself into a feline via masterful Photoshop skills.

3. If your kids refuse to pose with you because your breast is about to fall out, simply Photoshop them into the photo. (Poorly, for revenge.)

4. Don your most elegant holiday wear.

5. Keep it natural-looking. Just like Dad’s hair.

6. Just use the best shot the photographer was able to get of everyone.

7. Support — don’t suppress — Dad’s inner pretty princess with a show of family unity.

8. Agree to let your 10-year-old grandson create your Christmas cards this year.

9. Little-known fact: “Noel” loosely translates into “We shouldn’t have let drunk Uncle Ron take our holiday picture.”

10. When creating the card, think to yourself: “What kind of picture would grandma like to hang on her refrigerator?”

4 Comments

About Candy

Candy Kirby is the founder of The Laughing Stork and a professional fun-maker who will never stop chasing her lifelong dream: to find the Pomeranian or porn star after whom her parents must have named her. She also used to be a staff writer for the soap opera, The Bold and the Beautiful, where she penned many scripts featuring prolonged heated stares and countless “Who’s the Daddy?” story lines. Candy lives in Los Angeles with her husband, two young kids and three rescue Persian cats who enjoy blanketing every inch of the house in kitty fur. For more of Candy's nonsense, check out her personal Twitter, The Laughing Stork's Twitter and The Laughing Stork's Facebook page.

4 Responses to “10 Tips for Creating a Memorable Family Holiday Card”

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Katie says:

I’m pretty sure #5 is the “you’re getting a Dell” guy!
December 9th, 2011 at 12:39 pm - Reply
SharonLangworthy says:

Simply brill(iant), Candy. #1′s dog reminds me of the South Park episode where Paris Hilton’s dog Tinkerbell blew its brains out rather than spend a moment longer with her. I keep waiting for it…

Also: I think #4, the lady in the Sox jersey, is Judy Barr Topinka, former Republican candidate for Governor of Illinois (people here put Rod Blagojevic (not only is he corrupt, he’s a rabid Cubs fan).
December 9th, 2011 at 1:18 pm - Reply
Corina says:

Sharon, that is what I thought too..now she is Comptroller of IL. And 14 years, is half the time it will Illinois to ever even look like it will make it out of the mess Blago gave us!
December 9th, 2011 at 3:01 pm - Reply
J-Force says:

I love how in picture #10 the belly kissing is positioned in such a way that it looks like he’s kissing his own ass. That takes skill, people!
December 12th, 2011 at 11:10 am - Reply