10 Best Things About Being the Pregnant CEO of Yahoo!

Marissa Mayer made big news yesterday when she was named the new CEO of Yahoo!.  Not only did she become the most powerful woman in the technology world at just 37 years old, but she also announced that she was — GASP! — pregnant with her first child, a baby boy due in October.  This has, as you can imagine, already ignited a rousing discourse about maternity leave (she’s only planning on taking a few weeks off) and women trying to “have it all.”

I, for one, think there are plenty of benefits to being the pregnant CEO of Yahoo!.  For example:

10.  With the job she’s taking on, she’ll become accustomed to tackling messes.

9.  Insider access to all of the amazing parenting and pregnancy advice dispensed on Yahoo! Answers.

8.  Three words:  unlimited Yahoo! onesies.

7.  Having grown used to watching Yahoo!’s annoying in-video ads, the sound of a baby’s cries at 3AM won’t seem nearly as annoying in comparison.

6.  Apparently, the job comes with its own birth ball:

5.  Can offer a promotion to the staffer who brings her a pint of that butter pecan ice cream she’s craving FIRST!

4.  That nauseous feeling she’s getting while reviewing the company’s financials?  She’s used to that.

3.  When she screams “YAHOO!” at her husband during labor, he won’t know if she’s referring to him or work.  (But we know.)

2.  Has the power to wipe Flickr clean and make it her own personal baby album.  (Hey, can’t be any worse than Yahoo!’s current Flickr strategy.)

1.  Shareholders throwing temper tantrums will help prepare her for the toddler years.

Because sharing is caring, as I tell my kids. (Except my wine. Never my wine.)
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Candy Kirby

Candy Kirby is the founder of The Laughing Stork and a professional fun-maker who will never stop chasing her lifelong dream: to find the Pomeranian or porn star after whom her parents must have named her. A humor columnist for Disney, Nickelodeon, Scary Mommy, Reductress and Redbook, she also used to be a staff writer for the soap opera, The Bold and the Beautiful, where she penned many scripts featuring prolonged heated stares and countless “Who’s the Daddy?” story lines. Candy lives in Los Angeles with her husband, two young kids and three rescue Persian cats, the latter of whom are the real brains behind this operation (so send all complaints to them).

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