Advanced Maternal Age (n.)
1. When a mother is age 35 or older at the time of delivery of her baby;
2. A not particularly uplifting description obviously made up by male doctors;
3. The age at which a woman is officially too old to date Jack Nicholson;
4. When an actress reaches the point in her career that she will only be considered for roles such as “Crazy Cat Lady” and “Charlie Sheen’s Mother”;
5. The time in a woman’s life when she must trade in her mini-skirts for Bermuda shorts, according to Glamour‘s monthly “What to Wear in Your 20s, 30s, 40s and Beyond (a.k.a. ‘When You Have One Foot in the Grave’)!” column.
An even more deflating synonym: Geriatric pregnancy.