The Family Dish: Jessica Simpson’s Post-Baby Rear End Makes Unwitting World Debut

“POST-BABY BOD” ALERT:  Us Weekly kindly posts this flattering picture of Jessica Simpson’s rear
Fame, ain’t it a b*tch.

BECAUSE THE WORLD NEEDS MORE KARDASHIANS:  Khloe Kardashian reportedly starts fertility treatments
Kris Jenner undoubtedly negotiating a deal for a Khloe-branded baster.

GIVING US A HAND:  Alyson Hannigan Tweets this photo of three-week-old daughter Keeva Jane, writing, “LOVE”
Little does Alyson know that’s baby sign language for “I’m about to do an explosive poop.”

BOY, OH, BOY:  Tamera Mowry-Housley announces she is expecting a — you guessed it — boy
You know her sister is shaking her head and muttering, “Copycat.”

Because sharing is caring, as I tell my kids. (Except my wine. Never my wine.)
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Candy Kirby

Candy Kirby is the founder of The Laughing Stork and a professional fun-maker who will never stop chasing her lifelong dream: to find the Pomeranian or porn star after whom her parents must have named her. A humor columnist for Disney, Nickelodeon, Scary Mommy, Reductress and Redbook, she also used to be a staff writer for the soap opera, The Bold and the Beautiful, where she penned many scripts featuring prolonged heated stares and countless “Who’s the Daddy?” story lines. Candy lives in Los Angeles with her husband, two young kids and three rescue Persian cats, the latter of whom are the real brains behind this operation (so send all complaints to them).