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Mother of the Week So Far: Mom Sues School for Cutting Son from Basketball Team

In the News

Mother of the Week So Far: Mom Sues School for Cutting Son from Basketball Team

Please note this is a reenactment actor/model; not actual high school student

The mother of a high school student in Arkansas is sending her son to an early grave — cause of death: embarrassment — by suing his school, the school district and the state…because her son didn’t make the basketball team.

I’d hate to see what she does to girls who turn him down for a date.

Teresa Bloodman’s (fitting last name) lawsuit came after her freshman son was dropped from the Maumelle High basketball teamin October; there have been months of hearings and motions, but no trial date has been set, most likely because the judge hasn’t stopped laughing yet.

Because her son is a minor, he’s named only as a “John Doe” in the lawsuit, which contends that:

“…the deprivation of the right to a full and complete education which includes competition in sports and consequently athletic scholarships impairs John Doe of a property right guaranteed under both the U.S. and State Constitutions.”

Yes, I’m sure when our Founding Fathers penned the Constitution, they were thinking Freedom of Speech, Freedom of Press and Freedom of High School Freshmen to Join the Basketball Team.

Bloodman also points out her boy was dismissed when an additional tryout was held after football season, to let those players have a chance to make the basketball team. Bloodman says that’s a violation of equal protection rights, because it’s not the way the girls’ team is selected.   Of course, chances are there is no girls’ football team, but… don’t let the facts get in the way of a terrible lawsuit.  She also labels the lack of an appeal process for getting cut as a due process violation.

Jay Bequette, attorney for the Pulaski County Special School District, cited an earlier Arkansas court ruling, saying the Eighth Circuit court has previously ruled that, “There is no clearly established right of parents to have their children compete in interscholastic athletics.”

Somewhere in his $29-million mansion, Michael Jordan is scoffing, “Um…I was cut from my high school basketball team and you didn’t see my mom whining, did you?  Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to go use one of my nineteen bathrooms.”

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Candy Kirby is the founder of The Laughing Stork and a professional fun-maker who will never stop chasing her lifelong dream: to find the Pomeranian or porn star after whom her parents must have named her. A humor columnist for Disney, Nickelodeon, Scary Mommy, Reductress and Redbook, she also used to be a staff writer for the soap opera, The Bold and the Beautiful, where she penned many scripts featuring prolonged heated stares and countless “Who’s the Daddy?” story lines. Candy lives in Los Angeles with her husband, two young kids and three rescue Persian cats, the latter of whom are the real brains behind this operation (so send all complaints to them).

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