The Laughing Stork Launches New Fragrance: Eau de Spit-up
Jul 26, 2011 | Filed Under: Satire

Parenting columnist Candy Kirby boasts sleep swaddling (swaddling a cranky newborn in the middle of the night while still sleeping) and the ability to pick up a pacifier with her toes while shaking a martini with her other foot among her impressive achievements. Adding to her accomplished portfolio, Candy now has a new trademark scent reflective of how she smells morning, noon and night: Eau de Spit-up. Although Candy’s first child rarely if ever regurgitated her milk, her second-born spits up more than Paris Hilton looks in the mirror, giving Candy a permanently sour aroma. “What is this crusty white stuff in your hair?” Candy’s hair stylist asked with disdain. “Take a whiff!” Candy replied. And the stylist did, the distinctive and pungent smell literally knocking him off his feet.
“You should bottle that,” he said sarcastically, gasping for air.
Thus a new fragrance was born.
Filled with the smell of expired milk and just a hint of explosive poop, Eau de Spit-up is sure to make you a hit with all of the neighborhood raccoons. Stay tuned for complementary products from this new mom-inspired beauty and clothing line, including pre-stained shirts — that’s right! Shirts that come already stained with yellowish milk circles around the breasts and splashes of spit-up down the back!













Erin
says:
Ugh Im so sorry! My son had reflux from the go, constantly nursed and then constantly spit it all back up. I know that smell all too well. At about 5 months he magically stopped but I can still smell it and he just turned 2 on the 1st.
You know who this should be marketed to? MEN. Yeah let them smell that all day long on themselves and then ask if they wanna do a little dance later that night.
July 26th, 2011 at 7:46 pm -Candy
says:
You know who this should be marketed to? MEN. Yeah let them smell that all day long on themselves and then ask if they wanna do a little dance later that night.
Sing it, sister!
July 26th, 2011 at 10:07 pm -Kate
says:
That’s a whole lotta love, man. Wow.
July 27th, 2011 at 7:26 am -Eize
says:
Coming Soon: Eu de Powder Foop for Men!
July 28th, 2011 at 2:10 am -