When Mom Cares Enough to Give You the Very Worst Haircut

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Children across the world dream of becoming an adult… not so they can vote or shoot whiskey, but rather to finally escape Mom’s scissors and see a proper hair stylist.  Yes, getting a misguided haircut from Mom is a rite of passage many kids must endure.  So for all of you young hair victims and moms with the best of intentions but the worst of judgment:  this photo gallery is for you.

Bangs10

Let this be a reminder: Moms shouldn't let other moms drink and cut.

Bangs

"Maybe if I smile prettily enough, nobody will notice the gaping hole in my bangs."

Boy-Bangs2

Pro Mom Tip: If you're going to mess up, do it in the back -- where your child can't see it!

Bangs8

After a particularly bad cut, it helps to turn to friends for comfort.

Bangs4

I'm no body language expert, but I think she's thrilled with her bangs!

Boy-Bangs

You KNOW it's bad when even your brothers refuse to look at you.

Bangs9

Those bangs are really not short enough.

Bangs5

"Yup. Mom cut my hair. Got sumthin' to say 'bout that?"

Bangs2

"I hope they don't expect me to muster up a smile when I'm in hair crisis."

Candy

The author of this blog has been a tragic victim of her mom's scissors, as well.

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Candy Kirby is the founder of The Laughing Stork and a professional fun-maker who will never stop chasing her lifelong dream: to find the Pomeranian or porn star after whom her parents must have named her. She also used to be a staff writer for the soap opera, The Bold and the Beautiful, where she penned many scripts featuring prolonged heated stares and countless “Who’s the Daddy?” story lines. Candy lives in Los Angeles with her husband, two young kids and three rescue Persian cats who enjoy blanketing every inch of the house in kitty fur. For more of Candy's nonsense, check out her personal Twitter, The Laughing Stork's Twitter and The Laughing Stork's Facebook page.

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5 Comments

  1. Eize

    July 25, 2011 at 1:31 am

    I had to do a double-take on #9. MY CHILDHOOD FLASHED BEFORE MY EYES!

    (although I was fairly lucky that Mom never used the scissors herself on my hair. But the curling equipment…alas!)

  2. tsagrednerp

    July 25, 2011 at 5:16 am

    Miss Skye looks a lot like Mr. Candy but seeing you as a kid I see that she resembles you as well (she has your smile). She’s a good mix of you both.

    P.S. The bangs are’t that bad. The bow totally distracts from it.

  3. Julie

    July 25, 2011 at 7:16 am

    Oh gosh, this reminded of that time when I was about 7 and my dad brushed my hair with a curling brush and it got tangled up. My mom wasn’t home and after unsuccessfully trying to untangle it for about half an hour he just cut around the brush with the scissors… My hair was hip-length and it looked horrible. I think my mom had a word or two with my dad when she came home LOL

  4. Mrs. Harrison Ford

    July 25, 2011 at 8:11 am

    Thank goodness my mom never tried to cut my hair herself! It would’ve been way more traumatizing than all those perms she let me get ;0)

  5. No Drama Momma

    July 25, 2011 at 10:17 am

    Oh, man, I remember some pretty awful things my mom did with scissors! Like the time she tried to “layer” my hair. Eek!

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