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New York Cracks Down on Sippy Cups

In the News

New York Cracks Down on Sippy Cups

Editor's note: Wearing a helmet does NOT prevent tooth decay.

With murders on the rise in New York City, it makes sense that New York lawmakers are focusing on the real danger threatening residents: Sippy cups.

Da-da-da-dummmmmmmm.

Like cigarettes and alcohol, sippy cups may soon be required to carry a warning label in New York state.   The reason?  Childhood tooth decay.  Of course, it’s important to note that tooth decay is not caused by the cups, but rather the contents of the cups.  So the label should read:  SUGAR-LADEN JUICE CAN LEAD TO CAVITIES — DUH.

The New York legislature has voted in favor of the tooth-decay warning labels. The measure, however, is still under review and awaiting Governor Andrew Cuomo’s approval.

Mark Feldman, executive director of the New York state dental association, which lobbied for the measure, emphasized the risks of the spill-safe cups.

“I can show you photos of children who go to bed with sippy cups,” he told the Daily News. “All you see is little black stumps that is all that is left of the teeth.”

Which is odd because most toddlers I know don’t actually drink out of their sippy cups, but rather, turn them upside down and drench their clothes with the contents.  (Yes, I’m looking at you, Miss Skye.)

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Candy Kirby is the founder of The Laughing Stork and a professional fun-maker who will never stop chasing her lifelong dream: to find the Pomeranian or porn star after whom her parents must have named her. A humor columnist for Disney, Nickelodeon, Scary Mommy, Reductress and Redbook, she also used to be a staff writer for the soap opera, The Bold and the Beautiful, where she penned many scripts featuring prolonged heated stares and countless “Who’s the Daddy?” story lines. Candy lives in Los Angeles with her husband, two young kids and three rescue Persian cats, the latter of whom are the real brains behind this operation (so send all complaints to them).

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