Health & Beauty
Informal Survey of Doctors Reveals There Are No Stupid Questions, Only Stupid Parents
We tell our children there are no stupid questions; however, some pediatric residents venting on the Student Doctor Network forums beg to differ. Here is a sampling of “not-so-smart” inquiries — or, as they so delicately call them, “stupid parent questions” — they’ve had to field from us nutso parents:
(ED. NOTE: THE ANSWER IS NO, AS LONG AS SHE WASHES IT DOWN WITH VODKA)
Parent: I’ve been smoking while I’m breastfeeding. Is that bad?
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(FINGERS CROSSED HER HUSBAND IS BAD AT MATH)
Several times, I’ve had mother’s insist that their babies were much lower in gestational age (dad was deployed).
Me: “Ma’am, are you sure your baby is only 32 weeks? We don’t see many 9 pound 32-week preemies!”
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(THAT’S DR. MCCARTHY TO YOU)
Parent: Jenny McCarthy says I shouldn’t vaccinate my kids. I shouldn’t, right?
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(MY HUSBAND DOES THE SAME THING FOR SEX)
Parent: My kid won’t sleep through the night
Me: What happens?
Parent: They wake up in the middle of the night and cry until I come into the room.
Me: What do you do then?
Parent: I give them a snack, play with them and cuddle with them until they fall asleep
Me: *confused look*
Parent: Why do they keep waking up?
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(PRECISELY WHY I HAVEN’T SLEPT IN 30 YEARS)
We had a mom call the other day to ask how to get her 6 year old to sleep after that Dad let her watch Poltergeist.
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(TALK ABOUT AN INVOLVED MOM)
A call in from the mommy pager:
“My 15 year old daughter gets a sore throat every time she gives head. Should I bring her in to get checked out?”
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(HEART, SCHMEART)
Me to kid’s parent: “Any past medical issues?”
Parent: “No”.
Me: “Um, why the scar here?”
Parent: “Oh, yeah. He had to have some kind of heart surgery.”
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(SO… IT’S PINK EYE?)
2 week old’s mom: Why does my baby have an eye infection?
Me: Well, when did the green discharge start?
Mom: A few days after I began using breast-milk soaked cotton balls to clean her eyes.
