10. “Playboy Playmate 2009” is listed among the jobs on the candidate’s resume*.
9. When you ask if she is certified in CPR, the candidate says no, she has never taken an accounting class.
8. She thinks the Diaper Genie is a character from Aladdin.
7. When asked how long she’s known she’s wanted to work with kids, she asks what today’s date is.
6. Her favorite movie is The Hand That Rocks the Cradle.
5. Interview question: At what point would you call 911? Candidate’s answer: After I’ve turned on the computer, checked my Facebook, then googled “Child has stopped breathing. What to do?”
4. “Former Star of Two and a Half Men” and “Warlock” listed among the jobs on the candidate’s resume.
3. After she meets your kids, she asks if you have any other positions available not involving your kids.
2. She thinks FarmVille is an acceptable way for the kids to get involved with outdoor activities.
1. Asks if it’s okay if she brings the kids along when she visits her boyfriend. During penitentiary visiting hours.
*From a wife/mother’s perspective. Clearly.