News Roundup: Zsa Zsa Gabor to Become a New Mom & Television to Become Less Soapy

“17 images that will ruin your childhood.” I must admit, I AM devastated that R2-D2 wears bucket hats.  I always took him for more of a fedora kind of Droid.  [Cracked]

Excessive TSA pat-down leaves 6-year-old in tears.   Government defends actions, claiming they had to make sure she wasn’t hiding something that could cause harm to other passengers — like a Hannah Montana DVD.   [Time]

Zsa Zsa Gabor to become new mother at 94, husband says.  Judge not — she’ll only be 115 when the kid graduates from college!  [CNN]

Don’t say sorry: Why one mom is removing “sorry” from her kids’ vocabularies.  I agree; I much prefer “My most humble apologies, your highness.”  [Babble]

Television just lost a lot of evil twins and prolonged heated stares:  ABC cancels ‘One Life to Live’ and ‘All My Children.’ [Today]

Headline of the day: “Jelly bean resembling Kate Middleton to fetch £500.”  Only a matter of time ’til they marry off the jelly bean with a piece of toast bearing the image of Prince William.  [Telegraph]

Because sharing is caring, as I tell my kids. (Except my wine. Never my wine.)
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Candy Kirby

Candy Kirby is the founder of The Laughing Stork and a professional fun-maker who will never stop chasing her lifelong dream: to find the Pomeranian or porn star after whom her parents must have named her. A humor columnist for Disney, Nickelodeon, Scary Mommy, Reductress and Redbook, she also used to be a staff writer for the soap opera, The Bold and the Beautiful, where she penned many scripts featuring prolonged heated stares and countless “Who’s the Daddy?” story lines. Candy lives in Los Angeles with her husband, two young kids and three rescue Persian cats, the latter of whom are the real brains behind this operation (so send all complaints to them).