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Top 10 Ways to Work Tina Fey’s Pregnancy into ’30 Rock’

Celebrities

Top 10 Ways to Work Tina Fey’s Pregnancy into ’30 Rock’

Tina Fey, 40, has announced that she’s pregnant with her second child.  And already five months along, that sneaky devil.  Here are my top 10 suggestions for hiding/incorporating her baby bump into 30 Rock:

10.  Insanely jealous of a colleague’s pregnancy — a colleague she’d considered even more hopeless in love than she — Liz Lemon develops an hysterical pregnancy.  Concerned for her mental health, Jack convinces the rest of the cast and crew to humor her.

9.  Hide the bump with a revolving door of massive food items that Liz Lemon is about to chow down on (i.e., pizza box, huge cake that she stole from Matt Lauer’s birthday party on TODAY Show set, plate stacked high with corn dogs, etc.).

8.  On each new episode, Liz Lemon is experimenting with a crazy new diet fad (i.e., cleansing the system by only eating grass, the martini diet, etc.) — that invariably leads to her gaining 5 pounds.

7.  Don’t even mention pregnancy or weight gain, and instead “rent out” the baby bump space by shamelessly, and satirically, using it for NBC- and sponsor-related advertising messages.  For example, GE:  “We bring good things to life.”  (See what I did there?)

6.  Liz Lemon dates a man who appears to be the man of her dreams — but ends up being a “chubby chaser” with an unhealthy desire to fatten her up.  Which everyone can see but her — until she can no longer see her toes.

5.  When there are budget cutbacks on the show, Liz Lemon is forced to take a pay cut and moonlight with various odd jobs — i.e., a Mrs. Fields professional taste tester — to bring in extra cash.  Thus leading to extra poundage.

4.  Obsessed with the NBC reality show “The Biggest Loser,” Liz Lemon becomes determined to gain enough weight to qualify as a contestant and embark on the emotional journey in hopes of a life breakthrough of some sort — and ends up insulting real contestants with her weight-gaining mission.

3.  Tracy Jordan and his wife decide they want to have yet another baby, but encounter fertility issues — so, to keep Tracy happy (and on the show), Liz Lemon agrees to be their surrogate.

2.  Jealous of Liz’s friendship with Jack, Avery embarks on a campaign to make Liz as unattractive as possible — by finding various covert ways to make her gain weight (i.e., giving her the “gift” of membership in The Pie-of-The-Day Club, etc.)

1.  Have a different (defensive) excuse on each episode when somebody mentions her weight gain: 

It’s just this babydoll dress — they make everyone look pregnant!

It’s just water retention from this all-salt diet I’m on!

Haven’t you heard that curves are in, people?  I’m rocking the reverse Kim Kardashian — junk in the front!

Because sharing is caring, as I tell my kids. (Except my wine. Never my wine.)
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Candy Kirby is the founder of The Laughing Stork and a professional fun-maker who will never stop chasing her lifelong dream: to find the Pomeranian or porn star after whom her parents must have named her. A humor columnist for Disney, Nickelodeon, Scary Mommy, Reductress and Redbook, she also used to be a staff writer for the soap opera, The Bold and the Beautiful, where she penned many scripts featuring prolonged heated stares and countless “Who’s the Daddy?” story lines. Candy lives in Los Angeles with her husband, two young kids and three rescue Persian cats, the latter of whom are the real brains behind this operation (so send all complaints to them).

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