Storktionary Term of the Day: Extreme Closeup

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Extreme Closeup (n.)

1.  The manner in which all children insist on viewing videos and television, despite their parents’ impassioned and medically-proven warning that it will cause their eyes to fall out of their sockets.

2.  The ideal viewing range for kids; if their breath produces fog on the screen, then this ideal viewing range has been achieved.

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Candy Kirby is the founder of The Laughing Stork and a professional fun-maker who will never stop chasing her lifelong dream: to find the Pomeranian or porn star after whom her parents must have named her. She also used to be a staff writer for the soap opera, The Bold and the Beautiful, where she penned many scripts featuring prolonged heated stares and countless “Who’s the Daddy?” story lines. Candy lives in Los Angeles with her husband, two young kids and three rescue Persian cats who enjoy blanketing every inch of the house in kitty fur. For more of Candy's nonsense, check out her personal Twitter, The Laughing Stork's Twitter and The Laughing Stork's Facebook page.

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  1. Julie

    Apr 5, 2011 at 11:30 am

    Aww, her curls around her ear!!

    And what a nonsense with eyes falling out of their sockets due to too much TV! My Dad used to tell us that your eyes get square shaped from watching too much TV, and yes, we ran to the closest mirror every now and then to check on our eyes…falling out of their socket…smh

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