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Storktionary Term of the Day: Extreme Closeup

Storktionary

Storktionary Term of the Day: Extreme Closeup

Extreme Closeup (n.)

1.  The manner in which all children insist on viewing videos and television, despite their parents’ impassioned and medically-proven warning that it will cause their eyes to fall out of their sockets.

2.  The ideal viewing range for kids; if their breath produces fog on the screen, then this ideal viewing range has been achieved.

More Storktionary parenting terms…

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Candy Kirby is the founder of The Laughing Stork and a professional fun-maker who will never stop chasing her lifelong dream: to find the Pomeranian or porn star after whom her parents must have named her. A humor columnist for Disney, Nickelodeon, Scary Mommy, Reductress and Redbook, she also used to be a staff writer for the soap opera, The Bold and the Beautiful, where she penned many scripts featuring prolonged heated stares and countless “Who’s the Daddy?” story lines. Candy lives in Los Angeles with her husband, two young kids and three rescue Persian cats, the latter of whom are the real brains behind this operation (so send all complaints to them).

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