The Top 10 Differences Between Your First and Second Pregnancies

Know why this mom is smiling? Because she’s allowing herself to have a cup of COFFEE this time ’round.

10.  First Pregnancy:  You devour every single weekly pregnancy milestone update from BabyCenter.com and know exactly what kind of fruit/vegetable your baby currently resembles.

Second Pregnancy:  “How far along am I?  Um, let me see…maybe somewhere in the first trimester?  Wait, no, third.  I think.”

9.  First Pregnancy:  You diligently avoid all caffeine, alcohol, sushi and other supposed pregnancy no-nos.

Second Pregnancy:  “Make it a DOUBLE ESPRESSO.  And bring it up to the bathroom where I’m going to be snorting aspirin in a steaming hot bath.  Thanks!”

8.  First Pregnancy:  “Yay!  I’m starting to show!”

Second Pregnancy:  “Oh, God.  I’m starting to show.  AND I’M ONLY ONE WEEK PREGNANT.”

7.  First Pregnancy: You play French folk music and Learn Japanese CDs before going to sleep in hopes of giving birth to a multilingual genius with an IQ of 150.

Second Pregnancy:  Screw the folk music.  Nothing wrong with having a child of mediocre intelligence!  Because, let’s face it, you want to go to sleep as soon as you can when you already have a child with another on the way.

6.  First Pregnancy:  You feel the baby kick around 20 weeks.

Second Pregnancy:  You feel the baby kick around 12 weeks.  And why is that?  “Your muscles aren’t as strong the second time around, so you feel it more,” the OB says “helpfully.”  *SIGH*  A simple “you’re more in-tune with your body” would have sufficed, doc.

5.  First Pregnancy:  YOU:  Guess what?  I’m pregnant!  FRIENDS & FAMILY:  Yaaaaayyyy!  This is the best news EVER!

Second Pregnancy:  YOU:  Guess what?  I’m pregnant!  FRIENDS & FAMILY:  Oh.  Neat.

4.  First Pregnancy:  You buy a ton of maternity clothes to show off that beautiful, blossoming bump.

Second Pregnancy:  It’s all about sweatpants.

3.  First Pregnancy:  You have outdone yourself with the nursery, which is beautiful enough to be displayed in the pages of House Beautiful.

Second Pregnancy:  You’re not even sure where you’re going to put the kid.  Put a blanket in a dresser drawer, perhaps?

2.  First Pregnancy:  You rub cocoa butter on your stomach every day to avoid stretch marks.

Second Pregnancy:  You quickly throw on your sweats to avoid looking at the stretch marks caused by your first pregnancy.

1.  First Pregnancy:  You and your baby are celebrated at a fun baby shower.

Second Pregnancy:  You are lucky if you have the time to take a hot shower.

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The Laughing Stork

The Laughing Stork is a comedy site for moms. Because home is where the humor is. Be sure to join us for more laughs on Twitter and Facebook!

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