Old Geezer Moments

“I wish I wrote a blog for old geezers after my experience today,” my mom just laughed on the phone.  And, after hearing her experience and realizing that I easily could have encountered the very same “Old Geezer Moment” (*GULP*), I knew I had to share her tragic tale with you.

AFTER SEARCHING TARGET’S MUSIC SECTION, WITH NO LUCK:

CANDY’S MOM:  I’m looking for Billy Joel.  Or did he just fall off the face of the earth…?

20-YEAR-OLD TARGET SALESWOMAN:  Just a sec.  Let me check.  (SEARCHES DATABASE, THEN:)  What did you say the name of the CD is again?  Falling Off the Face of the Earth?

CANDY’S MOM:  No.  Billy Joel.  His greatest hits collection.

AFTER SEARCHING THE DATABASE AGAIN:

TARGET SALESWOMAN:  Here, follow me.

AS SHE LEADS MY MOM TO THE COUNTRY MUSIC SECTION:

CANDY’S MOM:  I don’t think this is right.  He doesn’t sing country.

TARGET SALESWOMAN:  (UTTERLY CONFUSED)  What does he sing?

CANDY’S MOM:  Um, more like pop?  Rock?

AFTER SEARCHING THE DATABASE YET AGAIN:

TARGET SALESWOMAN:  Oh!  Okay.  Yeah.  Looks like we have his Essentials CD back in the storage room.  We can get it for you.

CANDY’S MOM: “Essentials…?”

TARGET SALESWOMAN:  That’s the new word for “greatest hits.”

CANDY’S MOM:  (UTTERLY CONFUSED)  Oh.

LATER, WHILE SHARING HER TALE WITH ME:

CANDY’S MOM:  They didn’t even have his CD out front!  He’s been relegated to storage.

ME:  Yup.  Billy Joel has been replaced by Justin Bieber CDs.

CANDY’S MOM:  Thanks.  You just turned my laughter into tears of sadness.

Because sharing is caring, as I tell my kids. (Except my wine. Never my wine.)
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Candy Kirby

Candy Kirby is the founder of The Laughing Stork and a professional fun-maker who will never stop chasing her lifelong dream: to find the Pomeranian or porn star after whom her parents must have named her. A humor columnist for Disney, Nickelodeon, Scary Mommy, Reductress and Redbook, she also used to be a staff writer for the soap opera, The Bold and the Beautiful, where she penned many scripts featuring prolonged heated stares and countless “Who’s the Daddy?” story lines. Candy lives in Los Angeles with her husband, two young kids and three rescue Persian cats, the latter of whom are the real brains behind this operation (so send all complaints to them).

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