ME: Ooohhh! I swear I just felt the baby moving around.
MR. CANDY: (FEELS) Oh! Yeah! Holy cow. Baby’s all over the place.
ME: Eesh. Wait. No… those are bad gas pains. Skye gave me her diarrhea.
MR. CANDY: (RETRACTS HIS HAND LIKE IT’S ON FIRE) You couldn’t just let me have my moment, could you?