MR. CANDY:   It’s my mom’s birthday tomorrow.

ME:  Oh!  What did you get for her?

MR. CANDY:  Um, nothing.  Yet.

ME:  It’s stuff like that, that makes me hope we have another daughter.

MR. CANDY:  But my mom wouldn’t want me to pay for shipping!

ME:  There are sites that have free shipping you know.  If you’d just planned in advance —

MR. CANDY:  Planned in advance…?

ME:  You’re looking at me like I just asked you to explain the physics of tampons.

MR. CANDY:  It’s statements like that, that make me hope we have a boy.

Because sharing is caring, as I tell my kids. (Except my wine. Never my wine.)
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Candy Kirby

Candy Kirby is the founder of The Laughing Stork and a professional fun-maker who will never stop chasing her lifelong dream: to find the Pomeranian or porn star after whom her parents must have named her. A humor columnist for Disney, Nickelodeon, Scary Mommy, Reductress and Redbook, she also used to be a staff writer for the soap opera, The Bold and the Beautiful, where she penned many scripts featuring prolonged heated stares and countless “Who’s the Daddy?” story lines. Candy lives in Los Angeles with her husband, two young kids and three rescue Persian cats, the latter of whom are the real brains behind this operation (so send all complaints to them).

3 CommentsLeave a comment

  • “Planned in advanced” probably came across his brain in Swahili when he thought about his mother’s birthday, therefore, no gift. And Candy, you can’t leave important things like up to your husband! You’ve been with Mr. Candy long enough to know that ;0)

  • Nope, unfortunately for Mom, I am one of 3 boys.

    Luckly however for Skylar, that just makes her want to spoil Skylar all the more.