Did I Mention I Have a Baby?

BACKSTORY:  On Monday mornings, there is nowhere to park within a mile radius of Skye’s daycare because of street cleaning, parking regulations, blah, blah, blah.  AS IF MONDAY MORNINGS AREN’T BAD ENOUGH.  So, being the good citizen that I am, I usually park illegally in the driveway entrance while I quickly drop her off.  As I did this past Monday.

DAYCARE ADMINISTRATOR:  Um, I think you’re getting a parking ticket.

ME:  Shit!

I look over at the table of impressionable one-year-olds.

ME:  You didn’t hear that.

Then I run like hell towards my car, where Parking Enforcement — also known as “The Most Thankless Job in the World” — was indeed making a big deal of punching my license plate number on his hand-held parking ticket printer.

ME:  Stop!  Please!  I was just dropping off my baby.

EVIL PARKING ENFORCEMENT:  Your baby, huh?

I tenderly hug Skye’s sippy cup to my chest.

ME:  Yes, my baby goes to daycare here.  And there’s nowhere else to park.

EVIL PARKING ENFORCEMENT:  You’re lucky I haven’t started the ticket yet.

ME:  I am.  I really am.  MY BABY and I appreciate your understanding.

EVIL PARKING ENFORCEMENT:  But you shouldn’t park here, you know.  People with strollers or wheelchairs would have to walk around your car, onto the street —

ME:   As the mother of A BABY, I completely understand what you mean.  Never again.

EVIL PARKING ENFORCEMENT:   Have a good day, ma’am.

ME:  Sa-weet! Playing the mom card is even more effective than trying to cry my way out of a speeding ticket!  (NEVER worked for me, by the way.)