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The ‘Ross Gellar’ Circa 1999

Candy's Column

The ‘Ross Gellar’ Circa 1999

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For the past week or so, Skye has returned home from daycare looking like a different child than the one I dropped off.  Her soft curls have been beaten into submission, the front of her hair hardened and brushed severely to the side.  I didn’t think too much about it, assuming it was just the result of her running food through her hair, which she does ALL THE TIME.  When I picked her up yesterday, however, and saw she was once again sporting the Ross Gellar circa 1999 — a ‘do that makes her look like, well, a boy (not that there’s anything wrong with that, Shiloh!) — I couldn’t help but laugh.

ME:  Skye…!  Your hair!  What happened to it?  It looks so, so —

TEACHER LYNN:  (WALKING UP TO US)  You like it?  I was a hairstylist for five years.

ME:  So… WONDERFUL!

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Candy Kirby is the founder of The Laughing Stork and a professional fun-maker who will never stop chasing her lifelong dream: to find the Pomeranian or porn star after whom her parents must have named her. A humor columnist for Disney, Nickelodeon, Scary Mommy, Reductress and Redbook, she also used to be a staff writer for the soap opera, The Bold and the Beautiful, where she penned many scripts featuring prolonged heated stares and countless “Who’s the Daddy?” story lines. Candy lives in Los Angeles with her husband, two young kids and three rescue Persian cats, the latter of whom are the real brains behind this operation (so send all complaints to them).

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