Kids as Speed Bumps: What Could Possibly Go Wrong?

Speed bumps of the future:  creepy optical illusion children.  This way, you’ll swerve and hit a real child.  Brilliant!  [Discovery]

Will Smith’s daughter Willow signed to Jay-Z’s record label.  Jay-Z cites her talent and the names on her birth certificate as things that sealed the deal.  [Ryan Seacrest]

Okay, this story totally got to me:  Mom’s hug revives baby that was pronounced dead.  (Oh yeah, it’s a tear-jerker.)  [NYDN]

Nothing much works for morning sickness, study finds.  Huh.  I found that melodramatically screaming “I FEEL LIKE I’M GONNA DIE!” at my husband every once in a while made me feel better.  [LA Times]

Halle Berry and Olivier Martinez are gettin’ it on.  Well, yeah.  Who else would hook up with those two dogs?  [People]

Carolina Beach restaurant causes uproar by saying “no” to screaming children.  Which is Chuck E. Cheese’s opportunity to open a place next door.  [MSNBC]

Because sharing is caring, as I tell my kids. (Except my wine. Never my wine.)
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Candy Kirby

Candy Kirby is the founder of The Laughing Stork and a professional fun-maker who will never stop chasing her lifelong dream: to find the Pomeranian or porn star after whom her parents must have named her. A humor columnist for Disney, Nickelodeon, Scary Mommy, Reductress and Redbook, she also used to be a staff writer for the soap opera, The Bold and the Beautiful, where she penned many scripts featuring prolonged heated stares and countless “Who’s the Daddy?” story lines. Candy lives in Los Angeles with her husband, two young kids and three rescue Persian cats, the latter of whom are the real brains behind this operation (so send all complaints to them).

1 CommentLeave a comment

  • That speed bump idea is so stupid, people will become desensitized to seeing kids in the road and run over real kids thinking they’re optical illustions!!