Top 10 Signs Your First Birthday Party Was a Success

Jul 29, 2010 | Filed Under: Candy's Column, Top 10 Lists

1. You get more cake in your hair than in your mouth.

2. You don’t go to bed until the ridiculously late hour of… 9 p.m.

3. Nobody insults you with an “over-the-hill” birthday card saying, “Don’t worry, Old Fart. One year is the new nine months!”

4. The guests totally kicked two gallons of skim milk, bitches!

5. You got to wear a tiara…

…making your father jealous. (You’ll always be a pretty princess to me, Mr. Candy.)

6. Spencer Pratt did not crash the party despite threatening to do so in last week’s Us Weekly.

7. The neighbors called the cops because the party was rocking out to “Farmer in the Dell” at full blast.

8. Your parents took 312 pictures of the birthday festivities (See also: Top 10 Signs That You Are the First Child)

9. By the time you go to bed, you’re only twitching a little bit from the sugar overdose.

10. You got so many presents from your TWO East Coast birthday parties, that your parents have to charter Suzanne Somers’ private jet just to get them back to L.A.

Happy 1st Birthday, Miss Skye!

6 Comments

About Candy

Candy Kirby is the founder of The Laughing Stork and a professional fun-maker who will never stop chasing her lifelong dream: to find the Pomeranian or porn star after whom her parents must have named her. She also used to be a staff writer for the soap opera, The Bold and the Beautiful, where she penned many scripts featuring prolonged heated stares and countless “Who’s the Daddy?” story lines. Candy lives in Los Angeles with her husband, two young kids and three rescue Persian cats who enjoy blanketing every inch of the house in kitty fur. For more of Candy's nonsense, check out her personal Twitter, The Laughing Stork's Twitter and The Laughing Stork's Facebook page.

6 Responses to “Top 10 Signs Your First Birthday Party Was a Success”

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Eize says:

Wow–a personal cake for the birthday girl! And it did such wonders for her hair!

Happy Birthday, Miss Skye!
July 30th, 2010 at 4:36 am - Reply
Stephanie Wright says:

I never really saw it from the kid’s point of view! We had a party for our 4-year-old son last Saturday. I’m still looking for my sanity. Have you seen it?
July 30th, 2010 at 6:35 am - Reply
Deeva says:

I can’t believe she’s already a year old!! It looks like Miss Skye had a great time.

I love #6..
July 30th, 2010 at 7:49 am - Reply
Debutante says:

I love that picture of Skye with her cake ! Reminds me of myself when I eat cake!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY SKYE !!
July 30th, 2010 at 11:39 am - Reply
Mrs. Harrison Ford says:

Happy Birthday, Miss Skye! I love your little blue dress! Congrats on all the presents! You should definitely demand this many every year!
July 31st, 2010 at 3:30 am - Reply
1st birthday dress says:

Haha, lovely pictures, lovely and adorable.

My son will turn 1 year soon, I’m looking forward to celebrating it, and I will remember your tips to be sure his 1st birthday is a success, thanks!
October 8th, 2010 at 1:07 am - Reply