The Mom and Pop Culture Report: Gosselin Kids Rake in the Dough; Harrison and Calista Get Hitched

Your at-a-glance roundup of pop culture news. Because mamas need to know the status of Gwyneth Paltrow’s weight, too! [CURRENT STATUS:  “It sometimes goes up a little.”  Fascinating!  Don’t leave us hanging like that.  Tell us more!]

Gosselin kids earn more than Jon on Plus Eight.  Hopefully, that money is being put away… for their future therapy bills.  [PopEater]

Harrison Ford and Calista Flockhart get married after eight years of dating.  Geesh!  What’s the rush, guys?  [TMZ]

Megan Fox is engaged to David Silver once again.  In response, their families said, “Nice try, guys, but we’re not getting you ANY MORE ENGAGEMENT GIFTS.”  [Us]

Chris Klein busted for DUI, blowing almost three times the legal limit.  Wow.  Police plan to book him when he wakes up next year.  [TMZ]

Porn star Devon James claims Tiger Woods is father of her 9-year-old child.  Warning:  Article contains dangerously bad “Tiger cub” pun.  [NY Daily News]

Elton John “a little surprised” by invite to perform at Rush Limbaugh’s wedding.  Because Rush seems like more of a Hip-Hop kind of guy.  [People]

Miley Cyrus on Perez Hilton posting pantyless pic:   “That’s like, some idiot being an idiot — that’s not me, you know what I’m saying?”  Um, like, no, not really.  [Billboard]

Because sharing is caring, as I tell my kids. (Except my wine. Never my wine.)
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Candy Kirby

Candy Kirby is the founder of The Laughing Stork and a professional fun-maker who will never stop chasing her lifelong dream: to find the Pomeranian or porn star after whom her parents must have named her. A humor columnist for Disney, Nickelodeon, Scary Mommy, Reductress and Redbook, she also used to be a staff writer for the soap opera, The Bold and the Beautiful, where she penned many scripts featuring prolonged heated stares and countless “Who’s the Daddy?” story lines. Candy lives in Los Angeles with her husband, two young kids and three rescue Persian cats, the latter of whom are the real brains behind this operation (so send all complaints to them).