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End-of-Week News: A Hungry Husband’s Revenge; Silly Bandz Ban; Alicia Keys’ Pregnancy

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End-of-Week News: A Hungry Husband’s Revenge; Silly Bandz Ban; Alicia Keys’ Pregnancy

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  • A West Virginia man set his house on fire because his wife did not have dinner ready for him. His wife said, “I hope you like burnt rump roast.”  [NBC Augusta]
  • The Cartoon Network is planning a campaign to teach children how to deal with bullies. First, you clobber them on the head with an oversized hammer, throw them off a cliff and then blow them up with dynamite.  [Yahoo]
  • Salma Hayek is blessed with voluminous, perky… hair.  [Teeny Manolo]
  • Waiting to cut the umbilical cord may be better for babies, study shows.  Of course, if the parents wait too long to cut the cord… the kid could end up living in their basement when he’s 30.  [BusinessWeek]
  • Schools are banning Silly Bandz bracelets for being too distracting.  Well, that’s just ridicu — whoa!  Those bracelets are cool.  Lemme see!  [Time]
  • Alicia Keys and Swizz Beatz confirm pregnancy, engagement.  So the baby’s last name could be Beatz-Keys.  Awesome.  [Billboard]

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Candy Kirby is the founder of The Laughing Stork and a professional fun-maker who will never stop chasing her lifelong dream: to find the Pomeranian or porn star after whom her parents must have named her. A humor columnist for Disney, Nickelodeon, Scary Mommy, Reductress and Redbook, she also used to be a staff writer for the soap opera, The Bold and the Beautiful, where she penned many scripts featuring prolonged heated stares and countless “Who’s the Daddy?” story lines. Candy lives in Los Angeles with her husband, two young kids and three rescue Persian cats, the latter of whom are the real brains behind this operation (so send all complaints to them).

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