1. The state of being controlled by a 29-inch-long human being who drools and babbles;
2. Marked by overwhelming affection, to the point that a mother will walk into a Nordstrom’s sale with $100 and spend $96 of it on her baby instead of herself — even though said baby will grow out of the clothes in approximately two seconds;
3. When your baby has better bedroom furniture than you do;
4. The ability to withstand bites, kicks, slaps, hair pulls and other abuse that you wouldn’t tolerate from anybody else.
“Why are you holding the baby while she naps? I thought you had work to do.”
“Because I’m baby-whipped!”