Celebrities

The Laughing Stork Awards: Oscars Edition

Published on Mar 8, 2010

Okay, so these awards don’t come with a trophy or red carpet, but they are still equally as prestigious as the Academy Awards. Or so my cats tell me.

MOST DELIGHTFULLY APPRECIATIVE OF HIS WIFE’S CLEAVAGE AFTER 28 YEARS OF MARRIAGE: Jeff Bridges

MOST LIKELY TO HAVE BIRDS TAKE UP RESIDENCE IN HIS HAIR ON THE RED CARPET: Zac Efron

MOST GRACEFUL HANDLING OF A CREEPY, UNEXPECTED, BACK-OF-THE-SHOULDER KISS: Diane Kruger

MOST LIKELY TO HAVE BEEN ON THE LOSING END OF A BATTLE WITH A FLAT IRON: George Clooney

MOST UNEXPECTED APPEARANCE BY A PAIR OF BREASTS AT AN AFTER-PARTY: Hilary Swank

BEST ATTEMPT TO “RAISE THE ROOF: Sarah Jessica Parker

Related Topics:Laughing Stork Awards

Candy Kirby

Candy Kirby is the founder of The Laughing Stork and a professional fun-maker who will never stop chasing her lifelong dream: to find the Pomeranian or porn star after whom her parents must have named her. A humor columnist for Disney, Nickelodeon, Scary Mommy, Reductress and Redbook, she also used to be a staff writer for the soap opera, The Bold and the Beautiful, where she penned many scripts featuring prolonged heated stares and countless “Who’s the Daddy?” story lines. Candy lives in Los Angeles with her husband, two young kids and three rescue Persian cats, the latter of whom are the real brains behind this operation (so send all complaints to them).