Kendra Wilkinson’s Requisite “How I Got My Body Back” Tabloid Cover

You knew this was coming:  Kendra Wilkinson strikes a pose declaring “MY BODY AFTER BABY” on the cover of this week’s OK! magazineAmazingly, she bears NO sign of her C-section.   Or any sort of “flaw” whatsoever.  Or belly button!  Hell, after eight weeks, you could still see my pregnancy racing stripe, er… I mean, linea nigra.  I’m sure Kendra does look great, but come on.  Give us a postpartum zit AT LEAST.

*SIGH*  If only I had a real-life airbrusher to follow me around.  “This dimple on my ass — erase it!”  “I’m feeling a little fuzzy today… sharpen me!”

Jealousy-driven suspicions about Kendra’s cover aside, I gotta admit that is one cute kid.  Hank Junior doesn’t need no stinkin’ airbrush.

Because sharing is caring, as I tell my kids. (Except my wine. Never my wine.)
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Candy Kirby

Candy Kirby is the founder of The Laughing Stork and a professional fun-maker who will never stop chasing her lifelong dream: to find the Pomeranian or porn star after whom her parents must have named her. A humor columnist for Disney, Nickelodeon, Scary Mommy, Reductress and Redbook, she also used to be a staff writer for the soap opera, The Bold and the Beautiful, where she penned many scripts featuring prolonged heated stares and countless “Who’s the Daddy?” story lines. Candy lives in Los Angeles with her husband, two young kids and three rescue Persian cats, the latter of whom are the real brains behind this operation (so send all complaints to them).

3 CommentsLeave a comment

  • I had my stripe for a year. The Photoshopping of that cover is ridic but I guess nobody wants to see what a woman REALLY looks like after having a baby.

  • how about some respect for those awesome bodies of ours? it sure is sad that mamas’ bodies just *created a whole new person* and we’re all “get me a belly bandit and starve me until i look like a college girl again!” the racing stripe and tummy pudge should totally be a badge of honor, right? (as is the ever-present barf or snot on my shoulder)