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Sign of the Dollpocalypse: Barbie Coming to Big Screen

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Sign of the Dollpocalypse: Barbie Coming to Big Screen

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Because Hollywood has exactly zero original ideas up its sleeve, Universal has acquired the rights to Barbie to make a live-action feature with her.

Somewhere, Anna Faris’ ears just perked up.  And Paris Hilton’s agent is telling her, “Not gonna happen.”  And Reese Witherspoon is saying, “Um, didn’t I basically star in this already?  TWICE?”

Frankly, I’ve always found Barbie to be a little stiff.  And she can just forget about trying to get publicity for the movie with an “accidental” upskirt shot — no genitalia, no thanks.

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Candy Kirby is the founder of The Laughing Stork and a professional fun-maker who will never stop chasing her lifelong dream: to find the Pomeranian or porn star after whom her parents must have named her. A humor columnist for Disney, Nickelodeon, Scary Mommy, Reductress and Redbook, she also used to be a staff writer for the soap opera, The Bold and the Beautiful, where she penned many scripts featuring prolonged heated stares and countless “Who’s the Daddy?” story lines. Candy lives in Los Angeles with her husband, two young kids and three rescue Persian cats, the latter of whom are the real brains behind this operation (so send all complaints to them).

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