Boy Fakes Kidnapping to Hide Bad Grades (Naturally)

The “dog ate my homework” excuse is SO last decade…

An 11-year-old boy went to great lengths to avoid bringing home a bad report card, telling police that a man with a pistol snatched him after he left Ed White Middle School.  The boy said the man forced him into a “beat-up car” and threatened to kill him.  The kid then claimed he pulled a James Bond move and escaped by jumping out of the car.  Woo-hoo!  But, sadly, he wasn’t able to grab his bookbag, which of course contained the report card.

I wonder if his failing grade was in Ethics class?

He ran to his grandparents’ house and, his conscience getting the better of him, later confessed to lying.  His grandfather called police to apologize.

My favorite part:

Sgt. Mark Roberts said police were suspicious that the boy was able to “escape” with his band instrument, but not his bookbag.  D’oh!  Dump the tuba, kid!

The boy faces no charges at this time and, if all else fails, could always have a career as an Illinois governor one day.