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Not Everyone Has Baby Fever

Candy's Column

Not Everyone Has Baby Fever

From the moment Marcy realized she no longer had first dibs on my lap, she has been sulking like Paris Hilton cut off from an open bar.  Her head has become so heavy, it has rarely left the ground.   Oh, woe is her!

Mr. Candy and I had often surmised how the kitties would react to the baby, seeing as they’ve been the rulers of our household for eight years, and we’d assumed Matty would be the one to react adversely, while Marcy’s usually strong maternal instincts would kick in.  Um, WRONG!   Just goes to show what perceptive parents we are!  Fatty Matty seems to have taken to the baby quickly, often sitting next to her swing and protecting her.   Meanwhile Marcy, a longtime mama’s girl, is devastated by Skylar’s arrival, and is no doubt praying we return her to the godforsaken store we got her from in exchange for a big ol’ bag of kibble.  Sooner rather than later.

Chicks, man.  They can be such drama queens.

Candy Kirby is the founder of The Laughing Stork and a professional fun-maker who will never stop chasing her lifelong dream: to find the Pomeranian or porn star after whom her parents must have named her. A humor columnist for Disney, Nickelodeon, Scary Mommy, Reductress and Redbook, she also used to be a staff writer for the soap opera, The Bold and the Beautiful, where she penned many scripts featuring prolonged heated stares and countless “Who’s the Daddy?” story lines. Candy lives in Los Angeles with her husband, two young kids and three rescue Persian cats, the latter of whom are the real brains behind this operation (so send all complaints to them).

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