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My Pee Pee Bottle

Kids' Products

My Pee Pee Bottle

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No time to teach your toddler how to “cover or hover” in public restrooms?   Forced to miss the big plot twist in “Ice Age” because that lemonade went through your kid faster than a good curry?  Then you’ll most certainly want to look into “My Pee Pee Bottle™” — a “Simple On-The-Go Potty and Hygiene Aid for Toddlers.”

You can’t make this stuff up, people. At least it should cut down on one of my big pet peeves: toilet seat splashing.

The site even offers handy-dandy instructions on how to use the Pee Pee Bottle, including proper angle and squatting position.  However, they offer no guidance on what to do if your toddler mistakes it for a sippy cup.

“This doesn’t taste like apple juice, Mommy!”

Added bonus for adults: Comes in handy when the line for the women’s room is too damn long, or during an intense game of beer pong.

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Candy Kirby is the founder of The Laughing Stork and a professional fun-maker who will never stop chasing her lifelong dream: to find the Pomeranian or porn star after whom her parents must have named her. A humor columnist for Disney, Nickelodeon, Scary Mommy, Reductress and Redbook, she also used to be a staff writer for the soap opera, The Bold and the Beautiful, where she penned many scripts featuring prolonged heated stares and countless “Who’s the Daddy?” story lines. Candy lives in Los Angeles with her husband, two young kids and three rescue Persian cats, the latter of whom are the real brains behind this operation (so send all complaints to them).

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