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Reason #456 That Clowns Scare Me

In the News

Reason #456 That Clowns Scare Me

They drink and clown.

A woman dressed as a clown for a children’s party was arrested in Ohio for drinking and driving last week after leaving the scene of an accident.

Patricia Ingalls, who has been a clown for 17 years, said she’s sorry that the children she went to entertain witnessed her being taken into custody and led away in a police cruiser in handcuffs.

Seventeen years of rubber noses?  Yep, that will drive you to drink, all right.

“I’m not allowed to drink in costume and I should have never went [to the party] because I was too upset.  [The kids] were all hanging on me and saying, ‘Don’t take the clown,'” said Ingalls.

Let’s hope she didn’t make any obscene balloon animals.  But if she did… pictures, please.

A Breathalyzer test showed her blood alcohol level was .252, more than triple the legal limit.  Wow.  What were her drinks served in — clown shoes?!

Ingalls admits that she did consume alcohol, but she said she didn’t drink before the accident, which happened earlier in the day.  She said she drank after the crash (yeah, uh-huh) and before arriving to entertain the kids — which came in handy when she performed the popular magic trick, “Light the Clown’s Breath on Fire!”

Because sharing is caring, as I tell my kids. (Except my wine. Never my wine.)
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Candy Kirby is the founder of The Laughing Stork and a professional fun-maker who will never stop chasing her lifelong dream: to find the Pomeranian or porn star after whom her parents must have named her. A humor columnist for Disney, Nickelodeon, Scary Mommy, Reductress and Redbook, she also used to be a staff writer for the soap opera, The Bold and the Beautiful, where she penned many scripts featuring prolonged heated stares and countless “Who’s the Daddy?” story lines. Candy lives in Los Angeles with her husband, two young kids and three rescue Persian cats, the latter of whom are the real brains behind this operation (so send all complaints to them).

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