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Mel Gibson Breaks the Sacred Covenant “Thou Shalt Not Knock Up Your Extramarital Girlfriend”

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Mel Gibson Breaks the Sacred Covenant “Thou Shalt Not Knock Up Your Extramarital Girlfriend”

Oops.

Devoted Catholic boy Mel Gibson, who has publicly spoken out against premarital sex among many other “sins,” is expecting a baby with girlfriend Oksana Grigorieva, confirms TMZ.  The news comes on the heels of his divorce announcement.

Hmmm… can’t imagine why they split.

Russian singer Oksana, 39, who’s currently living in a house that Mel bought for her, is reportedly in her second trimester.  Mel’s soon-to-be-ex-wife Robyn has already been informed of the exciting news.  No word on whether Robyn plans to host the baby shower.

Coincidentally, Oksana sort of resembles the Octomom (no?) — while Mel is becoming the Octodad!  This is the eighth child for the 53-year-old actor/director/super sperminator.

Congrats, you crazy kids!

Because sharing is caring, as I tell my kids. (Except my wine. Never my wine.)
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Candy Kirby is the founder of The Laughing Stork and a professional fun-maker who will never stop chasing her lifelong dream: to find the Pomeranian or porn star after whom her parents must have named her. A humor columnist for Disney, Nickelodeon, Scary Mommy, Reductress and Redbook, she also used to be a staff writer for the soap opera, The Bold and the Beautiful, where she penned many scripts featuring prolonged heated stares and countless “Who’s the Daddy?” story lines. Candy lives in Los Angeles with her husband, two young kids and three rescue Persian cats, the latter of whom are the real brains behind this operation (so send all complaints to them).

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