Father of the Week Contender Presents Son with the Gift of a Hooker

A very caring father attempted to help out his virginal 14-year-old son with a gift that, well, really blows:  a prostitute.  But — surprise! — the hooker they propositioned turned out to be an undercover cop.

Something tells me that’s not exactly how they’d hoped the woman would use the handcuffs.

According to the prosecution, the scene went something like this:

“He pointed at the woman and said, ‘Will she do?’ The boy answered, ‘Yes.’

“He did this as his son was a virgin. The father thought this was taking care of that.”  The Polish dad asked the hooker/cop:  “Hello, baby. How much for a proper shag for him?”

As he knocked her price down to $30 — talk about a bargain hunter! — Nottingham police officers moved in.

So busted.

After the judge wisely noted: “You have a duty of care towards your son and that is to look after his moral welfare, not to break him in to sex by way of a prostitute”  (I believe I’ve seen that on a Hallmark card before?), the married dad, who pled guilty to attempting to deflower a child, got a ten-month suspended jail term with a supervision order.

Seriously, though — a hooker?  Whatever happened to the more innocent days when a boy would simply approch his friend’s hot mom?

Because sharing is caring, as I tell my kids. (Except my wine. Never my wine.)
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Candy Kirby

Candy Kirby is the founder of The Laughing Stork and a professional fun-maker who will never stop chasing her lifelong dream: to find the Pomeranian or porn star after whom her parents must have named her. A humor columnist for Disney, Nickelodeon, Scary Mommy, Reductress and Redbook, she also used to be a staff writer for the soap opera, The Bold and the Beautiful, where she penned many scripts featuring prolonged heated stares and countless “Who’s the Daddy?” story lines. Candy lives in Los Angeles with her husband, two young kids and three rescue Persian cats, the latter of whom are the real brains behind this operation (so send all complaints to them).