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Desperate Times Call for Desperate Brassieres: The Husband-Hunting Bra

In the News

Desperate Times Call for Desperate Brassieres: The Husband-Hunting Bra

Women on the prowl for a hubby will SURELY find themselves a keeper with this “Husband-Hunting Bra” unveiled by Japan’s Triumph International.

Mmmm… careful, guys!  Looks like a booby trap to me.

Triumph’s latest novelty bra features an electronic nuptial timepiece, giving whole new meaning to “ticking biological clock.”  If an engagement ring is inserted into the mechanism, the countdown stops and, to lend an extra touch of class, the bra plays Felix Mendelssohn’s “The Wedding March.”  The bra also conveniently includes holders for pens and prenuptial agreements.  Which is just unnecessary because anyone who bags a man this way MUST be in it for the long haul!

The bra is designed to reflect Japan’s falling marriage rate.  In fact, the average age at which women get married is — GASP! — a practically geriatric 28 years old, late for a country in which single females were once considered over the hill at 25.  A Triumph spokeswoman said the product would suit modern Japanese women who are no longer content to sit and wait for a potential husband to approach them.

Because, you know, nothing attracts men more than a TICKING BRIDE-BOMB.

The Laughing Stork fashion editors note the item also matches perfectly with the Bra-Hunting Husband.

Because sharing is caring, as I tell my kids. (Except my wine. Never my wine.)
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Candy Kirby is the founder of The Laughing Stork and a professional fun-maker who will never stop chasing her lifelong dream: to find the Pomeranian or porn star after whom her parents must have named her. A humor columnist for Disney, Nickelodeon, Scary Mommy, Reductress and Redbook, she also used to be a staff writer for the soap opera, The Bold and the Beautiful, where she penned many scripts featuring prolonged heated stares and countless “Who’s the Daddy?” story lines. Candy lives in Los Angeles with her husband, two young kids and three rescue Persian cats, the latter of whom are the real brains behind this operation (so send all complaints to them).

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