So Your Best Friend and Wife Star in a Porno…

Stop me if you’ve heard this one before.

A Taiwanese carpenter bought an adult film DVD, only to find it starred his best friend using HIS tool on his wife.

… Surprise!  Talk about a buzz kill.

The sexual acts apparently had been recorded using a hidden camera and were on a pornographic DVD titled, “Affairs with Others’ Wives” (clever!), which the husband had bought for a leisurely masturbatory session at home.

Thankfully, the husband took it well and they all had a big laugh.  No!  I kid!  The husband divorced his philandering wife, not surprisingly, and stabbed his (ex-)friend in the thigh — presumably just missing the target organ.

Which reminds me of an adorable story…

Did I ever tell you Mr. Candy and I are big porn stars in India?  Yes!  It’s true!

A friend of ours sent his wedding video to relatives in India who were unable to attend the big (BIG, as in, like, one billion guests) event.  Relatives who included his cousins, grandmother, cousins and more cousins.  When he called to see if they’d received the video, Cousin #53 said, “Yes, it was AWESOME,” as though he’d just watched “Terminator Versus Wolverine:  The Battle to Save a Prominently Featured Naked Jessica Alba.” 

Curious as to what made his ten-hour-long wedding video so AWESOME, our friend did the unthinkable and watched his own wedding video… only to find the videographer had devoted nine hours of the tape zooming in on MY DRUNK HUSBAND PULLING UP MY DRESS AND GROPING ME on the dance floor.

One of these days I’m going to trek to India and buy the DVD titled, “Drunk and Horny Wedding Guests.”  For which I have yet to get a cent of my residuals. Hmphf.