My brother and sister are 13 and 11 years older than I am, respectively. When my mom became pregnant with me — SURPRISE! — and told my siblings the news, they apparently laughed and said, “Yeah, right.” So Mom cried.
Eventually Dave and Angie got over their shock. Last year, I believe? (When they realized I would NOT stop attending family holiday get-togethers.) And from what I can gather from old photo albums, they had WAY too much fun dressing me up in humiliating outfits, often accessorized with unflattering red-rimmed glasses. The abuse I took, I tell ya.
Could have been worse, I suppose. I’m just thankful they weren’t armed with these creepy-looking pacifiers I came across on the Web:
The Lisa Rinna Special.
Flavor Flav approves. Now baby just needs a big clock around his neck, and Brigitte Nelson on his arm.
An orthodontist’s dream come true.
“I vant to suck your teat…”
Okay, I really wish I hadn’t posted this right before bedtime. As if my pregnancy dreams weren’t weird enough…