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The Get-Away Diaper Bag

In the News

The Get-Away Diaper Bag

This week’s Mother of the Week contender used her infant’s diaper bag to steal $178 worth of goodies at Walmart — and then proceeded to leave her two kids behind as she ran out of the store.

What SHOCKING news — wait, this happened in Florida?  Never mind.

Police said they saw mastermind thief Unabelle Sanchez, 23, put the diaper bag into her car before locking it.  Police asked her for the diaper bag and, out with no more clever tricks up Unabelle’s sleeve, she handed it over to them.   Police revealed that the bag contained clothing, including swimming suits, boys’ pants, five pairs of shoes, jeans and socks.  Which, um, she no longer needed after abandoning her kids anyway.

Unabelle remains in jail on $10,000 bail on two charges of felony child neglect, one charge of felony larceny, two counts of misdemeanor culpable negligence, two misdemeanor counts of contributing to the delinquency of a minor and a misdemeanor retail theft charge.

[CANDY WAITS]  … Oh, is that it?

The silver lining:  The Laughing Stork sources say the infant was resold for $200 — plus a $40 restocking fee — netting a decent profit for Walmart.

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Because sharing is caring, as I tell my kids. (Except my wine. Never my wine.)
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Candy Kirby is the founder of The Laughing Stork and a professional fun-maker who will never stop chasing her lifelong dream: to find the Pomeranian or porn star after whom her parents must have named her. A humor columnist for Disney, Nickelodeon, Scary Mommy, Reductress and Redbook, she also used to be a staff writer for the soap opera, The Bold and the Beautiful, where she penned many scripts featuring prolonged heated stares and countless “Who’s the Daddy?” story lines. Candy lives in Los Angeles with her husband, two young kids and three rescue Persian cats, the latter of whom are the real brains behind this operation (so send all complaints to them).

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