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“Sexting” is the New Love Letter

In the News

“Sexting” is the New Love Letter

When my doctor first pointed out my daughter’s hoo-ha on the big screen and declared, “You’re having a girl,” my first thought was:  “Yes!  Baby girl clothes!”   But my second thought…?

“Oh crap.  She had BETTER not post naughty pictures of herself on MySpace.”

I know, I know… not likely to happen.  But only because MySpace will be R.I.P. in a cyber-cemetery by that time, alongside Friendster and Bolt.

Unfortunately, however, “sexting” is all the rage among teenagers these days.  Parents, school districts and law enforcement have been grappling with how to address teens who take sexually explicit photos of themselves with their cell phone cameras and send them to friends.

*SIGH*  Whatever happened to good, old-fashioned flashing-and-running?

Some adolescents caught in the act are being charged with child pornography.  The Vermont Senate thinks that’s a little harsh and passed legislation — currently pending in the House — to remove the most serious legal consequences for teens who engage in “sexting.”  This way, teenage sext-senders and receivers can’t be prosecuted for child pornography and have “sex offender” on their records — as long as the sender voluntarily transmits the pic — but prosecutors could still give them a slap on the wrist for “lewd and lascivious conduct.”

Good thing my daughter’s going to have a sweatsuit permanently sewn to her body!  In the meantime, I plan to launch a campaign for a return to America’s roots and more wholesome teenage debauchery — like smoking crack and getting STDs.  Because that’s the kind of caring mother I am.

Because sharing is caring, as I tell my kids. (Except my wine. Never my wine.)
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Candy Kirby is the founder of The Laughing Stork and a professional fun-maker who will never stop chasing her lifelong dream: to find the Pomeranian or porn star after whom her parents must have named her. A humor columnist for Disney, Nickelodeon, Scary Mommy, Reductress and Redbook, she also used to be a staff writer for the soap opera, The Bold and the Beautiful, where she penned many scripts featuring prolonged heated stares and countless “Who’s the Daddy?” story lines. Candy lives in Los Angeles with her husband, two young kids and three rescue Persian cats, the latter of whom are the real brains behind this operation (so send all complaints to them).

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