Mother of the Week So Far

Say "cheese!"  ...No?  How 'bout "Stoli!"

Say "cheese!" ...No? How 'bout "Stoli?"

Parties sure have changed since I had my 13th birthday party at a bowling alley with  chicken tenders and pitchers of RC Cola…

A stellar Mother of the Week contender has been arrested for serving alcohol to young teens at a party in Missouri and, even better, offering a $10 prize to whomever could chug a glass of vodka the fastest.

Let’s hope the drinks were at least served in something appropriate, like Jonas Brothers travel mugs.  Now that would make it acceptable.

The game was such a success, that two girls were hospitalized.  Because chugging vodka at any age is always a good idea!

Kansas City authorities say Karen Christine Downs, 43, and 25-year-old Kelsee Guest face felony child-endangerment charges, under allegations they provided liquor and beer to 13- and 14-year-olds at a birthday party for Downs’ daughter.

The girls at the party told officers that Downs offered them shots and told them, “Ssshhh!  Don’t tell your parents.”

Yes, I’m sure the parents NEVER would have noticed!  Nothing suspicious at all when your daughter decides to rest her head on the toilet for 12 hours.  Just enjoying the feel of the cool porcelain…

Not that I would, um, know anything about that.  *AHEM*

Because sharing is caring, as I tell my kids. (Except my wine. Never my wine.)
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Candy Kirby

Candy Kirby is the founder of The Laughing Stork and a professional fun-maker who will never stop chasing her lifelong dream: to find the Pomeranian or porn star after whom her parents must have named her. A humor columnist for Disney, Nickelodeon, Scary Mommy, Reductress and Redbook, she also used to be a staff writer for the soap opera, The Bold and the Beautiful, where she penned many scripts featuring prolonged heated stares and countless “Who’s the Daddy?” story lines. Candy lives in Los Angeles with her husband, two young kids and three rescue Persian cats, the latter of whom are the real brains behind this operation (so send all complaints to them).