The Pregnancy News Reaction Awards
Mar 6, 2009 | Filed Under: Candy's Column, Pregnancy Humor | Tags: Personal
MOST UTTERLY DISAPPOINTING REACTION GOES TO…
Mr. Candy!
CANDY: So, honey, I took a pregnancy test today and — I’m pregnant!
MR. CANDY: Oh my God. (TURNS PALE) That’s scary.
MOST DRAMATIC RESPONSE IN A CRACKER BARREL RESTAURANT GOES TO…
Candy’s Mother-in-Law!
Candy’s MIL opens her Christmas card. An ultrasound picture falls out. A moment of silence, then:
CANDY’S MIL: AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
Candy’s MIL jumps up from the table in the middle of the Cracker Barrel, hopping up and down and fighting back tears of joy. Other diners stare, then return to eating their Hickory Smoked Country Ham.
MOST BACKHANDED BEST WISHES FROM A READER GOES TO…
The reader who e-mailed THIS to me:
“Congratulations on/to/for your pregnant self. Because, I know, you would not have allowed yourself to become this unless you wanted to do this.”
Um, thanks?
REACTION THAT LEAST WENT ACCORDING TO PLAN GOES TO…
Candy’s Mom!
CANDY: (SITTING ON HER MOM’S BED) So… do you think you’d visit us in L.A. more often if you had a little grandchild out there?
CANDY’S MOM: [INSERT DUMB STARE HERE]
CANDY: (TEARS OF JOY STREAMING) I’m pregnant!
CANDY’S MOM: Huh? What? YOU — pregnant?!
CANDY: Yes. Me. Pregnant.
CANDY’S MOM: [INSERT DUMB STARE HERE]
RESPONDENT MOST LIKELY TO HAVE THE BABY NAMED AFTER HER IS…
The server at the Brandy Library bar/lounge in Tribeca!
Candy announces to her friends that she’s pregnant. Moments later, the server brings Candy free celebratory dessert and instantly becomes Candy’s Favorite Person Ever.
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lainey says:
I just found out I was 8 wk pregnant, I hope I have some fun reactions like that. My husband said “My boys can swim”. All I could respond with was “Really, did you just say that”
Congrats!
March 6th, 2009 at 3:41 pm -Candy says:
Congrats, Lainey! I’m sure you’ll get some entertaining responses as well. I recommend telling all of your servers the good news in hopes of getting free dessert. Gotta work that baby mama angle!
xoxo,
Candy
March 6th, 2009 at 5:05 pm -Queenie says:
LOL! When I told me mom I was pregnant she said “on purpose???”
March 6th, 2009 at 5:11 pm -Kate says:
Love your site! Im not a mom, but I think you are hilarious! Good luck with your new baby girl.
June 15th, 2010 at 12:03 pm -