The Laughing Stork

Live-Blogging TLC’s “Toddlers & Tiaras”

Trouble

:02 — Mark my words:  Kaleigha, age 4, is trouble with a capital “uh-oh.”

:04 — Jadyn, age 6, says she wants to be in pageants “because you win a lot of stuff.”  Be careful, Jadyn — that same mantra landed my grandma in the poor house in Vegas.

:05 — Holly, age 7, says if she could wear pageant clothes every day, she would do it.  Think we have the next generation’s Bai Ling on our hands.

I feel pretty...

:06 — The prettiest princess of all.

:07 — Kaleigha checks herself out in the mirror.  She proclaims she looks “fabulous,” then screams she’s in charge and “that’s it!”  Think we have the next generation’s Mariah Carey on our hands.

:12 — Shaving a seven-year-old’s legs?  Is that really necessary?  I thought the rule-of-thumb was no shaving until you’re 10, and no Botox until you’re 12.  But that’s just the kind of overprotective mom I’ll be, I guess.

:15 — Holly’s father “has no idea” what this pageantry preparation costs.  Except his wife’s pride.

:18 — Jadyn’s mom says she doesn’t like all the “fakeness” of pageants.  Then proceeds to put fake eyelashes and hair extensions on her daughter.

:22 — Not sure what’s going on here, but the contestant on the right could use a little exfoliation.

:23 — Kaleigha’s mom spends “hours and hours” straightening Kaleigha’s hair.  To show just how much she enjoys it, Kaleigha screams at her parents, “Shut up!  Just shut up!  I said shut up.  Shut up!”  An angel sent from heaven, this one.

:25 — A mom teaches her daughter what really matters in life.

Having fun!

:25 — But, hey, as long as they’re all having fun!

:35 — The pageant ensues.  I’m not going to lie:  Kaleigha is totally rocking the house.

:36 — Holly coldly turns down Jadyn’s request to be her “pageant buddy.”  Suddenly, I’m having flashbacks to sixth-grade gym class.

:44 — Dear lord.  Little girls are dancing around in belly tops like Paris Hilton.  Only with better moves.

:44 — Yes, this mom is dancing around with an invisible lasso.  And yes, I need to befriend her.

:48 — Jadyn’s grandma made her dress.  Coincidentally, Jadyn’s grandma is also convinced Jadyn is going to win “best outfit of choice” and “best dress!”

:53 — They have a “most beautiful” category?!  That’s… healthy.

:54 — Kaleigha’s upset that she “only” got a rose.  Clearly, she’s never watched “The Bachelor.”

:55 — Jadyn does NOT win best dress.  And, oh yeah, grandma is PISSED!

:56 — Jadyn DOES win “most photogenic,” “best personality” and her category’s “princess” — however, her mom says she didn’t “do as well as she wanted her to do.”  That’s the spirit!

:57 — All the votes are finally in:  our little diva, Kaleigha, wins Miss Grand Supreme!

:59 — Kaleigha accepts the trophy with her usual demureness and humility.

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Candy Kirby

Candy Kirby is the founder of The Laughing Stork and a professional fun-maker who will never stop chasing her lifelong dream: to find the Pomeranian or porn star after whom her parents must have named her. She also used to be a staff writer for the soap opera, The Bold and the Beautiful, where she penned many scripts featuring prolonged heated stares and countless “Who’s the Daddy?” story lines. Candy lives in Los Angeles with her husband, two young kids and three rescue Persian cats who enjoy blanketing every inch of the house in kitty fur.

30 comments

  • Oh my goodness, I was mortified for Kaleigha. She was a little brat, I could not belive the way she spoke to her family, she may be pretty on the outside but her personality is ugly!!

  • Watching reality tv is my guilty little secret, but the scary mothers on this show are appalling. It is almost enough to make me find a new guilty pleasure.

  • Just watched Toddlers and Tiaras. I’m disgusted at the way one of the moms on the show compared her twins. How sad it is for the one daughter who continually got put down and compared to the other one. It’s abuse. Can you not just love her for who she is and appreciate how special she is.

    • I want to start by saying I actually love this show and alot of times they have adorable little girls on here on have fun, but I was completely shocked at the twins mom she needs some parenting classes. She clearly speaks and treats to her daughters differently. On top of it, I think that it is terrible that she puts her marriage and her husband’s ideas second to what she wants. She needs to realize she is not in pageants anymore and realize how she is damaging her children.

    • I am a twin and me and my sister do pageants. I was so shocked at how she acted as well. Maybe the one would be more out going if she felt that she was good enough. My parents have always made sure that they treated my sister and i equally. Treating the one daughter like that is just giving permission to her twin sister to treat her that way

  • Patti: I just wanted to say that I watched that show last night and I agree with you? What is wrong with that woman? I made me cry to watch her ABUSE Ashlyn (the not fav. twin) The ONLY highpoint was that the dad removed BreAnn(the fav twin)from the pageant. I had no idea that there were parents like that… it was the saddest thing I have ever seen. That little girl isn’t going to have any self esteem. I agree… that is abuse!

    • I have never seen a Mother act like that, blatantly comparing her twins and treating them differently. Is she insane? Also, who died and told the woman that she was gorgeous and that BreAnn looked just like her? Mom Sterling has what appears to be a Narcissitic Personality Disorder and an over-inflated ego. If you know her, someone really does need to contact DHR and report this woman for being emotionally abusive to AshLynn, if not more of her children. Apparently the favored child is not treated as badly as others. So sad.

  • hello
    kids pageant’s all queen’s and king’s cute
    I love you like your said when live my Mother’s
    help u what do for that so the very me has don’t get will I wish!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • Khumaira Bibi me she deaf very tv wish childen’s has award can will know won! u what o people when live my mother’s and Dad’s siter’s for helping very come on but change so all we they a are say of can’t got like love age year old there pageant’s the not…!!Patti: I just wanted to say that I watched that show last night and I agree with you? What is wrong with that woman? I made me cry to watch her ABUSE Ashlyn (the not fav. twin) The ONLY highpoint was that the dad removed BreAnn(the fav twin)from the pageant. I had no idea that there were parents like that… it was the saddest thing I have ever seen. That little girl isn’t going to have any self esteem. I agree… that is abuse!

  • Patti: I just wanted to say that I watched that show last night and I agree with you? What is wrong with that woman? I made me cry to watch her ABUSE Ashlyn (the not fav. twin) The ONLY highpoint was that the dad removed BreAnn(the fav twin)from the pageant. I had no idea that there were parents like that… it was the saddest thing I have ever seen. That little girl isn’t going to have any self esteem. I agree… that is abuse! thank you!Khumaira Bibi deaf me she…. Rochester ny..

  • Why on earth is this show still on TV? Overweight mom’s trying to make their daughters into something they had no hope of becoming while all the while turning them into little brats. I’d rather watch infomercials for zit remedies.

  • I was watching ‘what not to wear” then this show came on. Man, I was disappointed in the mother of the two little twin girls (Sterling sisters). She was very hard on AshLynn. She needs to watch the episode and listen to what she was saying about her child. Very sad.

  • I am outraged at the show I just saw. Twin sisters were competing against each other Brianne and Ashlynn Sterling. Mom commented that the one twin was the “pretty and adorable” one and the other was like her dad. The child who never won, acted up (go fiqure). Mom, wake up and see what you are doing to your children. You need to see the best in BOTH your twins….find out what Brianne is good at, and praise her for that. Dr. Phil would have a fit!!

  • How can any decent mother put her children through that?! Don’t the know the damaging phsycological and emiotional effects it has on childeren as they grow and develop??? Every ounce of those childrens self esteem is measured but how many crowns and titles they win. These mom’s are trying to live through their children and using them as cash cows. It sickens me to no end. most of those little girls you see right now are going to be battling anorexia within the next few years over their selfish parents. The children no nothing about manners and to be polite, what they need is a good spanking. These parents should be ashamed of what they’re doing just for some shiny baubles. I refuse to watch HOw can a mother say that one daughter is prettier than the other just by her nose?! that little girl is going to grow up and hate her mother. I truly believe that this should be considered as exploiting children. my heart goes out to all of those girls who’s mothers feel that they need to bathe their little girls in make up and wigs and parade them like little stippers. I’m only 17 years old and I WILL NEVER do that to any child that I will have. I am truly angry at TLC.

  • Every child is precious.These moms need to learn that before pitting their children against each other in competition.

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  • **STERLING TWINS**
    After watching a couple episodes of Toddlers & Tieras, my Heart Sank for little Ashlyn Sterling! The mother Doesn’t deserve to have children. Watching Ashlyn CONSTANTLY be put down by her OWN mother is the worse of worse. Or when Ashlyn’s mom told her that her dress she was to wear for upcoming pagent was ripped, Ashlyn Cried her Little heart out, while the ROTTON mother sat there, Never put her arms around Ashlyn, Never comforted Ashyln. I ACTUALLY cried with Ashlyn, and I live thousands miles away, but as a MOM, I felt Little Ashlyns Pain. When something doesn’t go good for Ashlyn, she knows her ‘OWN” mother is going to come down on her, and HARD. While Bre-ann, gets all the praise! This sickens my soul. I just want to Grab Little Ashyln and hug her to pieces! I don’t know bout anyone else, BUT ASHLYN is Goregous little girl. The mom makes her out to be this child who Really shouldnt be in pagents. What kills me is when Ashlyn is older, she will watch these videos, and her heart will be Crushed! I can also see a ‘barrier’ that will form between the girls, because Ashlyn KNOWS Bre-ann is the FAVORITE TWIN! Ashlyn will NEVER fill good enough. I just pray that the Father puts this ‘so called mom’ in her place. I feel like Flying to North Carolina, and giving her a piece of my mind and dragging her off to a ‘parenting class’! And leaving her there for a Month! I think we (the viewers) NEED to get together and PROTEST the removal of that MOM from entering her daughters in the TLC pagents, OR at least the Pagents that TLC promotes. ASHYLY, YOUR BEAUTIFUL, and YOU DESERVE a REAL MOM, THAT LOVES YOU FOR WHO YOU ARE!! GOOO ASHLYN!!!!

  • REMOVE THE STERLING MOM** REMOVE THE STERING MOM** REMOVE THE STERLING MOM**REMOVE THE STERLING MOM** REMOVE THE STERLING MOM** REMOVE THE STERLING MOM!!!!!! GET RID OF HER!!! ABUSE OF CHILDREN IS NOT EXCEPTED!! Physically OR MENTALLY!! GET THE PICTURE, MRS.STERLING!!! YOU SUCK!! These Girls are cute because they look like their FATHER! You, Yourself are EXTREMELY HOMELY LOOKING, and your personality makes you PLAIN UGLY!!! Your a WITCH to ASHLYN! I will MAKE CETTAIN you see these comments! IF I have to GO TO POST THESE COMMENTS IN YOUR HOMETOWN NEWSPAPER!!!!LOOK WHAT YOUR DOING TO LITTLE ASHYLYN! WAKE up and REALIZE BEFORE U DESTROY ASHLYN’ SOUL, if you HAVNT already!!!Something is NOT right with you, many people ‘see’ the LACK of Educated Parenting Skills you have! Get Help!

  • In the dark ages (I’m 61 years old) they had children’s beauty pageants. It was the ‘1960s, and they were called Our Little Miss pageants. Kids’ pageants were just beginning. They were much simpler then.

    One thing – they were all kind of inbred, meaning the same kids kept winning. I was just out of high school, so I was too young to enter, but I went with my dance teacher to all the pageants. I’ve seen it all from every angle – the mom’s, the coaches, the judges, because I sat in the audience and listened to everyone. Then I went back to the studio with them and witnessed powwow sessions on how to win the next one.

    In my town, some of the kids’ parents would actually have lunch together (I saw it happen). Talk about conflict of interest.

    Anyway, the pageants can be addictive to kids and moms alike, so just sit back and enjoy the circus. Most of those kids are fine.

  • Oops, sorry. I made an error in my above comment. I meant to say, “I was too OLD to enter pageants. Duhhh.

  • This has got to be the saddest show on earth. Little girls being sexualized and taught that their exterior is what is important in life. The whole pageant thing is abuse to those little girls. Let them take dance lessons and have a recital, but to have your little dressed up like a hooker and perform like a stripper has got to be a crime somewhere, and if it isn’t it should be! I do NOT watch this show and I am only going on what I see on the previews. I REFUSE to watch it, and wish that everyone else will, too. Sad day when sexualization of children on national television is called entertainment.

  • The sterling family’s mother is a b…. , she has her twin daughters in the pagnent and she thinks and says that one twin is prettier than the other. Also,she tells her daughters thst one always wins and the other doesn’t. Also, I noticed that she bought a new dress for one and the other had to wear a ripped dress. How can you judge your children like that? Her twin daughter that she treats badly is going to grow up with issues. She doesn’t deserve a wonderful child like that. She says one did great and the other didn’t horrible. She is NASTY! She calls her children ugly. Te father needs to step up and stand up for his child.

  • The mothers of these KIDS should be BITCH-SLAPPED REPEATEDLY. These are CHILDREN!! These parents make these innocent children look like street whores. Let them be kids. Come on!!

    To destroy their innocence like this should be incriminating! I don’t see any difference between these parents and pedophiliacs.

    Come on.. let your kids be that,… KIDS!!

  • This show makes me sick! The mothers procede to shave their daughters legs, put revealing dresses on then then stuff them (yes, STUFF the 6 year olds!) so it looks like they have breasts (because GOD FORBID a 6 year old having a flat chest!), then cover their faces in foundation, cover up, lipstick, eyeliner, eyeshadow, fake eyelashes, fake teeth, put on fake nails and heels, and god knows what else, on 6 year olds! I mean, you’re teaching your children nothing except that they aren’t beautiful enough! And they are going to be so self-conscious about themselves once they grow up, and hand fulls! I mean, I saw this one little girl kicks her mother (who was busy having a conversation with one of the pageant officials) telling her “I want to GO! NOW! Come ON MOM! NOW!” and pull her mom by the mom, and all her mom said was “Sweetie, just wait a second sweetheart, mommy is talking to someone..” quietly, and her kid kept yelling at her and pulling her arm, and her mom just told the official they would talk later (not even finishing her sentence because her kid barely let her get one word in), and got pulled away! I mean, this is a good show to watch when theres nothing else on and you want a good laugh, but MAN am I just itching to turn these little girls over my knee and give them the spanking of their perfect little lifetimes, I mean the poor darlings are just not getting any discipline from their mothers, and they’ll grow up to be selfish, unsuccessful brats who add up to nothing in life. It’s too bad they’ll never get any discipline in life. I mean just a few good spankings would set them in place and do them a world of good, but unfortunately they’ll never get to experience that amount of love and care from their parents, and they’ll have to learn it the hard way in life… it’s really too bad, because it’s not the children’s’ fault, its their silly, deluded, and naive parents.

  • @ Beth. You’re wrong BreAnne is the one who tends to win more and who Jamie Sterling favors. She was the one who acted up. Ashlyn, the one Jamie doent favor at all, didn”t act up at all. She should find things Ashlyn likes to do.

  • As an Australian, I really wonder what America is becoming! This is legalised child abuse. What is worse , I watch this show (I am so ashamed to admit it). I guess it is like watching a car crash – not nice but somehow compelling. The last show I watched dealt with the pageant director stealing all the money. I guess that says plenty for the quality of people associated with this disgusting display. This is all about fat ugly mothers trying to relive their lost childhood. Where are values of decency and respect? If all American children are like this …… This show educates these horrible children to value themselves with regard to how “beautiful” they are!!!!OMG who cares what they look like! The real beauty is within and that is all that should count!

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