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The Laughing Stork

Candy's Column

Li’l Mama

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I fell asleep the mother of a baby and woke up with a li’l mama.  (Not to be confused with the rapper, of course, the primary difference being Skye still has all of her original body parts.)  My li’l mama lays her main man Elmo on the napping mat and pats his back, just as her daycare teachers do to her at naptime, feeds him “tea” (a little too classy for Elmo, but he seems to enjoy it) and seats him in the Bumbo chair — an action requiring great precision, as you can see — and then…?  She sits on top of him.

Yup.  She’s got my maternal instincts, all right.

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Candy Kirby is the founder of The Laughing Stork and a professional fun-maker who will never stop chasing her lifelong dream: to find the Pomeranian or porn star after whom her parents must have named her. A humor columnist for Disney, Nickelodeon, Scary Mommy, Reductress and Redbook, she also used to be a staff writer for the soap opera, The Bold and the Beautiful, where she penned many scripts featuring prolonged heated stares and countless “Who’s the Daddy?” story lines. Candy lives in Los Angeles with her husband, two young kids and three rescue Persian cats, the latter of whom are the real brains behind this operation (so send all complaints to them).

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