True Confessions by Candy
Apr 27, 2010 | Filed Under: Candy's Column,Musings,Top 10 Lists
No, that is NOT the title of a Penthouse Forum-type letter, although I’m sure it would be better for site traffic if it were. Rather, it’s a list of weird/awful/embarrassing/silly things I’ve done in the past 18 months, some of which are so mortifying I’ve never told anybody before — so, hey, why not share them with the whole world now?! (Why, yes, I have had a glass of wine. Why do you ask?)
1. I kept the two home pregnancy tests that revealed I was pregnant with Skye. The sticks that I PEED on. The peed-on, nasty sticks that remained underneath the guest bathroom counter for more than 17 months — until my parents visited a couple weeks ago. At which point I moved them to OUR bathroom. (Thank goodness I remembered to do so.)
So, who wants to visit?!
2. Because I am a light sleeper AND the one nursing the baby, I am usually the one who gets up in the middle of the night if Skye cries. We have the baby monitor next to the bed and, if she so much as blinks, I wake up. I can’t help it. Honestly, I have about nine months of sleep to catch up on. Mr. Candy, on the other hand, can sleep through ANYTHING. Skye’s cries amplified on the monitor? Zzzzzzzzzz. Skye blasting Jay-Z at full volume during the 3AM party in her crib? Zzzzzzzzzz.
Irritated with (and envious of) his ability to sleep so deeply, I will often return to the bed and PLOP myself down as hard as I possibly can in hopes of waking him, if only for a second. Like, I will practically jump on that damn bed. Mean of me, I know, but misery loves company. However, nine times out of 10…
Zzzzzzzzzz.
3. I once arrived at daycare and realized, in my motherly frenzy, I forgot to buckle Skye into the car seat. I thought I was going to be ill.
4. I have not filled out a single page of Skye’s baby book.
5. I nag Mr. Candy all the time about stupid stuff — something I never did before — because I don’t think anybody can take care of Skye as well as I can. I mean, really, what was he THINKING, feeding her squash on a Saturday? OF COURSE WE WERE SAVING SQUASH FOR SUNDAY! HE RUINED EVERYTHING!
Stay tuned for the oh-so-exciting Part Two of Candy’s True Confessions. I know you’re on the edge of your seats! (Somewhere, Mr. Candy is saying, “Zzzzzzzzzz.”)
Sarah
says:
I still have both of the pregnancy tests I took when I was pregnant with Miss Rach and the one I took with this meatball. I haven’t filled out Miss Rach’s book either, but I do have a shoe box with things from her first two years of her life (including the aforementioned peed on tests). Oh and the flopping thing? Try adding in a long sigh or loud “hrumpf” the next time you flop, also don’t forget a well placed elbow/foot/hand/ can work wonders
April 27th, 2010 at 6:10 am -MamaMia
says:
You are definitely NOT alone. My oldest will be 20 in a couple of weeks. I still have the “pee stick”, also forgot to actually buckle her into the car seat more than once, and still have a mostly empty baby book in a box in the basement. I dread the day that she actually asks me about her baby book! And, I hate to admit it, but I still nag my wonderful husband about stupid stuff.
April 27th, 2010 at 10:31 am -Mr. Candy
says:
Wait! There is a stick with your pee on it under the sink I brush my teeth at every night?!?!?!
April 27th, 2010 at 7:57 pm -Eize
says:
Mr. Candy, I believe that’s payback for the Saturday Squash…
April 28th, 2010 at 8:03 am -Cowgirl in the Sand
says:
I also have the pee sticks from both pregnancies. And my son’s empty baby book. I don’t even OWN an empty baby book for my daughter. (Eek! I don’t have a baby book for Miss S! I didn’t realize that until now. Of course I’m going to have to run out to get one, so that it can sit, empty, next to Mr. Z’s.)
Another good thing to do when you’re crawling back into bed with an ambitious flop, loud sigh and well-placed elbow is to immediately pull all of the covers off of him.
April 28th, 2010 at 8:46 am -Your Neighbour Clare
says:
Don’t have a baby book, I also have not taken a picture of my now 20mth year old daughter in about 4mths… prior to that we snapped away at every blink.
Join your on the sendiment of how annoying it is that Mr Daddy doesn’t wake up for the middle of the night adventures… When I was up feeding in the night if I could not leave the room I would wake my husband up and demand a chat !!!
April 28th, 2010 at 4:31 pm -Candy
says:
I am so, so happy to see how many other mamas have kept their pee sticks. See, Mr. Candy? I am NOT a freak! Not for that reason, at any rate. Also, you are totally getting woken up with a flop, sigh, elbow, cover pull, chat and old pee stick poke tonight.
What? One step too far?
April 28th, 2010 at 11:01 pm -