The All-Nighter 2.0
Nov 24, 2009 | Filed Under: Candy's Column,Musings
"Don't you dare move me, woman."
I am no stranger to The All-Nighter. I pulled countless ones in college to finish papers after exhausting all possible procrastination tactics, including organizing the dust bunnies in my closet according to size and amount of accumulated lint. There was also the All-Nighter that did not involve academics but rather a copious amount of Jägermeister — which surely killed all those brain cells I paid to nurture at college. Oh well. Even if there had been no Jägermeister, reality shows would have eventually worn them down, anyway.
Now, however, Miss Skye has introduced me to a whole NEW kind of All-Nighter, one that may drive me back into the mind-erasing clutches of that nasty Jägermeister. This All-Nighter is filled with screams that sound like “nein, nein, nein!“ At first I thought my genius child had become proficient in German. But when I responded with my fluent German and exclaimed, “Bratwurst!” she just looked at me blankly — and continued screaming at the top of her little lungs. Highly disappointing. So then I surmised that she might be requesting to see the new movie, “Nine,” with Nicole Kidman and Kate Hudson — but Mr. Candy informs me that Miss Skye is a Phillies fan and would NEVER betray her team by supporting the chick who helped Alex Rodriguez get his groove back in the World Series. A valid point.
Then, last night, I finally figured it out — my daughter is announcing that she intends to keep me up for NINE HOURS. “Nine, nine, nine!” Because, you see, she is not pleased that I am trying to move her party from the bassinet to her crib. As you can see, she has completely outgrown the bassinet… and that picture was taken weeks ago. Given that she grows approximately two feet a day, she now looks like Shaq trying to squeeze into a Smart Car. I tried to lure her into the crib like a saleswoman pushing a timeshare: “If you just agree to spend one night in this luxurious and SPACIOUS crib, I’ll give you a free all-day pass to the boobie buffet!” But of course she knows that buffet is always open, anyway — and she obviously loves the comfort and familiarity of the bassinet despite its size. The crib, on the other hand…?
“Nein, nein, nein!”
I slept for a whopping thirty minutes last night. I kid you not. There should be a tag on the baby that says, “DO NOT HANDLE AFTER ALL-NIGHTER,” because it took me about two hours just to change her diaper this morning. I stared and stared some more, willing it to change itself, while Cookie Monster stared back at me with contempt as if to say, “Good lord, woman, put some concealer on those bags!”
Fingers crossed we have better luck tonight. Because if she continues to refuse to sleep in that crib, I’m gonna need an extra shot in my morning latte. A shot of Jägermeister, that is.
Cowgirl in the Sand
says:
Our little divas, indeed! Here’s what worked with my older son (although I’m sure you’ve tried some of these tricks already):
- I moved the bassinet to the same place the crib is so that he got used to staring at a different piece of ceiling while in the same bed.
- Used the crib during naps first and didn’t try to put him in for the night until he was used to napping there.
- Put him in the crib sideways (i.e. perpendicular to the long sides) at one end so that it felt smaller to him.
- Put the bassinet IN the crib (if you can take it off the base/legs) for a few nights.
- Put him in something else containing (the bouncy chair, his car seat, etc.) inside the crib.
Good luck!
November 24th, 2009 at 9:41 am -Deeva
says:
Also try blacking out the room! Complete darkness works with our son.
November 24th, 2009 at 11:31 am -Candy
says:
Great suggestions, ladies, thanks!
Miss Skye finally slept peacefully in her crib last night — for NINE hours straight (I’m not making that up) — but I’m not going to get cocky yet. If she continues to give me grief, I will definitely try some of these suggestions. The only ones we’d tried were using the crib for naps and making the room pitch-black.
Now if only I could figure out how to make ME sleep, we might be in business.
November 24th, 2009 at 1:40 pm -