Nobody Puts Baby in a Corner
Sep 10, 2009 | Filed Under: Candy's Column | Tags: How Rude
You lied to me, Patrick Swayze!
Contrary to what Johnny Castle would have us believe, people DO put baby there. Oh sure, maybe he’s able to keep HIS Baby out of that damn corner because people have a tendency to concede to men with glistening, muscular torsos and an ability to do things with their hips that are illegal in fifteen states. But as soon as a restaurant hostess sees MY less-than-rock-hard abs and stroller…? Well, as you can see in the above picture taken with Mr. Candy’s BlackBerry CrapCam, they were all too quick to shove us and OUR baby in the corner, where we were the state-mandated twenty feet away from the childless diners. In fact, I’m pretty sure we even had a different menu and our own zip code.
“We’re being discriminated against!” cried Mr. Candy.
So we rose to our feet, plopped ourselves in the main dining area, and refused to give up our seats for the childless diners! Yes, folks, we are the modern-day Rosa Parks!
Okay, so that didn’t happen. But that is what we should have done, instead of remaining next to the restrooms where our pasta was served with Eau d’Urinal. Because while I could understand not wanting our monster stroller to take up the whole freakin’ place, almost all of the other diners were OUTSIDE ON THE PATIO.
Oh, Johnny Castle. Now I can relate to your pain as a misunderstood outcast amidst a sea of haters. Next time Mr. Candy will have to win the hostess over by ripping off his shirt and performing the mambo! Which should get us… at LEAST an extra bread basket. To make him stop dancing.
Teri
says:
Well that was just wrong!
September 10th, 2009 at 8:38 am -nyetmama
says:
OK I confess, not being a mama myself, I do appreciate being seated with the grown ups in our own section. But at times, I get so distracted when a beautiful quiet baby is within my vicinity, I just want to ask my server to move me closer to that table but then I pull back because I don’t want the parents to be afraid of my ogling and staring constantly at their baby. Oh how I love babies! But Candy, I think Skye got a bum deal being seated next to the bathroom. Didn’t the server get a look at her face! She’s too pretty to be jacked up somewhere in a corner!
September 10th, 2009 at 1:43 pm -Candy
says:
Exactly, nyetmama! I must confess that I, too, used to enjoy a baby-free dining zone when I was without child.
But of course that kind of attitude shouldn’t apply to MY perfect child.
Really, this post was just an excuse to use the headline. When they sat us back there, that’s what I cried — and Mr. Candy said I must write a column about our experience, if only to write “nobody puts baby in a corner.” We’re easily amused like that.
September 10th, 2009 at 1:56 pm -lainey
says:
when i saw that Nicole Richie had her baby I actually thought to myself “I wonder what Candy will put as a headline”… So not only do you live through your blog headlines… so do your readers.
September 10th, 2009 at 3:18 pm -Debutante
says:
Wow — SIBERIA !!
September 11th, 2009 at 10:01 am -